Let’s be working with women

I'm the horny older millennial women in their late 30s/early 40s. We were the "Girls Gone Wild" of years past and we need a man.

I’m the constant discussion of menstrual problems, and comparing hellish childbirth complications. I don’t want to know about your ruined clacker, ladies.

I'm HR.

Are there any male HR people left?

R4, yes. Eunuchs.

I'm the never ending baby shower luncheon rhat takes all day, and nothing gets done. All the men are out drinking and fielding phone calls/texts that nobody can be reached.

ROTFL!!

Instead of management, the clique of mean girls think they know every person’s ”dirt” and base everything on false assumptions which causes them to wonder why things at work are failing in every way

I'm the filthy bathroom.

I'm not getting promoted.

R10 is posting from 1974.

Women take over departments and companies then only hire other women, black women are notorious for this. “Equality” was never the goal, it was the ability to abuse power.

[quote] Are there any male HR people left?

Yes. Fags who need power over others to feel validated.

Speaking from recent experience.

Sorry, r11, I should have said I'm the man not getting promoted.

I’m the clacking of high heels.

Gird your loins!

I am the horrified male worker being told by my female co-worker about poo shoes.

I'm the earrings

I'm the CAFTANS

I'm the perfume that smells like insect spray.

I'm the clique of women who decide they don't like you because you're an older, never-married woman without kids who doesn't seem interested in idle chit-chat or crafting and therefore--OMG--might be a lesbian. I don't care that, when I get your lezzy-seeming ass FIRED, you might end up permanently unemployable and in a state of financial ruin. OMG, like, that's your problem, bitch!

I'm bitter.

FUCK YOU, R21.

Proving your point, I suppose.

I'm the ladies lounge, with a long couch that on 'those days' the girls can lay down when the pain gets to be too much. One of the grosser malesn will purposely use the bathroom at the end of the day, pee and leave the seat up so in the morning the girls will all speculate who could be so gross.

I haven’t seen any of these behaviors in over 20 years, with the exception of hiring people who share your characteristics. Hiring people similar to you is a tendency most people have. White men did it for ages and you see it a lot in more tech-oriented roles. A department will lean Indian OR Chinese.

Sure, the never ending birthdays, baby showers, whatever used to happen. In 1982. Ogling the UPS man was cute around the turn of the century. I think sending joke lists via fax needs to be added.

I'm the anxiety attacks in the lady's room

I’m the flask in the locker. For “medicinal purposes.”

I'm the menstrual cycles all syncing up.

OP? Only gay men do that. For the most part, women DGAF.

You guys know nothing about women at all.

I'm the annoying designated collector of money for birthdays/showers/goodbye parties demanding twice the usual donation amount from each employee because Krista is having IVF twins and we must buy her TWO high chairs.

Oh, and by the way, R21, you evidently have never been on the receiving end of a mean-girl clique in the workplace; if you had, you would understand the justifiable bitterness that comes with having your livelihood, your ability to pay your bills and keep your tiny apartment, threatened by a gang of insecure women who decide to come after you for whatever reason--sometimes, just because they can. Am I bitter? Yes, and I have good reason to be.

Once again, fuck you.

I'm the malicious, toxic gossip that poisons the work environment and is intermittently directed at:

1) Anyone who is capable and intelligent. He/she thinks he/she's better than everybody else (in spite of there being no evidence at all for this) and needs to be brought down several pegs, for no reason.

2) Any girl who is younger and pretty, but not bitchy. She thinks she's so hot, but she's not and we're going to viciously bully her into learning that fact.

3) Anyone who appears to be vulnerable. He/she is just stupid, so we're going to bully him/her for no other reason than the fact that we can. And if he/she complains to HR about us, we will claim that he/she is a weirdo who scares us.

4) Any hot guy who isn't interested in them and doesn't flirt back. He'd better start finding us hot RIGHT NOW, or else we're going to accuse him of being gay, or try to destroy his career by claiming he's a creepy sex pest.

5) Any gay guy who doesn't behave like an obnoxious mean cunt. How dare he not be our cute little pet and personal stylist, and relentlessly attack anyone we don't like? Fucking fag!

OMG R31!

Hey, FatCubeFrau, seek help.

I’m vaping weed in the lactation room.

Mean-girl frau alert at R33.

I’m the dramatic whispering that happens on the work floor. All day long, it’s whisper, whisper, whisper.

R31, spot on.

I am the cold heartlessness that belies the supposed compassion of the "gentler sex."

I'm the female boss who exercises iron control over everyone in the work place and thereby intimidates the staff, so as not to appear "weak."

(I submit this one because the three worst bosses I've had in my life were women, all of whom acted as described above, whereas none of the male bosses I've had ever acted that way.)

I'm OP. I stink up the office with my farts. I don't know why it bothers people-- my farts smell great to me.

FatCubeFrau needs mental help. No wonder her colleagues hated her.

I insist on doing everything exactly by the book even when it's a huge waste of time or makes no sense

My manager is a woman and most of my co-workers are women. We get along fine and are very effective at our jobs. Maybe it's you.

[quote]I insist on doing everything exactly by the book even when it's a huge waste of time or makes no sense.

On that note, the worst of my female bosses insisted on having regular meetings of the whole staff (relatively small, about 15 people) even when there was absolutely nothing to discuss. I think she just got off on the fact that she was the COO and she liked to call meetings so we could all hear her talk about whatever, sometimes including personal stuff that had nothing to do with the business.

For a while, she also insisted that I have weekly "meetings" with the staff of my department -- even though the department consisted of only three people, myself included, and we all worked in close proximity in the same room, so whenever anyone had a question or something to say, that person could literally turn their chair around and address the other two, who were seated just a few feet away. I finally made the woman understand how pointless this was, but it was difficult to do so.

[quote]OP? Only gay men do that. For the most part, women DGAF.

No, it’s not safe for us to do anything like that at work. You have to socialize outside of the workplace.

I’m the pregnant cow who tells you you’re giving her file folders “too fast” and tells you to slow down. Then when the manager asks her if you’re getting the files, she replies, “I don’t know WHAT he’s doing!”

She clearly wants to be the only one left standing in this little project group.

I am the elder gay Boomer that went back into the workforce into an HR position just recently. I was lucky to bond with a wonderful boomer black woman who holds a mid management role in marketing. We are the only boomers in the office. We are allies and are aligned in our efforts to out maneuver all of the millennials, gen xers, etc. So far so good. We were instrumental in onboarding a Trans marketing analyst who is prettier and dresses better than any of the 20 something cis females in the office. Plus she is smarter than all of them combined. Of course they are jealous of her, so the "bathroom"concerns are being brought to me. My response is to show them their acknowledgement of the companies policy's regarding anti discrimination that includes trans employees. Then I take off my glasses look them in the eye and say, " If you are not in alignment with this policy perhaps you need a different corporate culture?". Works every time.

I'm R40, playing the "She's nuts!" card.

R46 I predict you will get fired soon. 🔮 You sound like a woke piece of shit. I bet that blqy you work with won’t hire straight white men.

I’m the group of secretaries sitting in the lunchroom complaining about their husbands and boyfriends. The phrase “all men are assholes” is bandied about loudly and frequently and overheard by others. When they were reported to HR for this, they denied that it was derogatory. They were all gone within 3 months because they lost their discretionary year-end bonus and felt it was not fair, so they found other jobs.

[quote]Then I take off my glasses look them in the eye and say, " If you are not in alignment with this policy perhaps you need a different corporate culture?". Works every time.

I’m the straight guy used to nail him for sexual harassment causing him to resign or be fired.

R46, if she is more attractive than the other women, how do they know she is trans?

R46, thanks for reinforcing the well-earned stereotype of the [bold]HR Cunt[/bold], and proving that it can apply to men as well!

I've been a woman my entire life and have never experienced any of these ridiculous scenarios. What's up with the woman bashing here? Come to think of it, that's something gay and straight men have in common. It's not even clever.

[quote]What's up with the woman bashing here?

I can only speak for myself, but I think people are just writing honestly and factually about their own experiences of women in business, and in my case, particularly women in business in positions of authority. I personally have never had any problems with female co-workers who were not bosses. I do think the problem with female bosses is that many of them don't want to be perceived as "weak" in any way, so they overcompensate and become monsters.

I'm the always-approved requests to leave early to pick up little Susie from Girl Scout camp or to attend little Tina's dance recital. Meanwhile, those without crotch droppings have to stay behind and do all the work.

R53 It's fun to talk shit it isn't always meaningful or even sincere

Sorry R53, but many of us have had very negative experiences working with women... And men, of course. That doesn't mean that all women are awful work colleagues, but it is the human condition to fixate on the negative which, sadly, tends to be much more common than positive traits.

Still, I will say this: some of the best managers I have had were women, and a few female colleagues have also been lovely. Unfortunately, it just isn't the norm.

I'm the occasional forays to sashay in front of the custodians and security officers- to get a little ego boost.

I'm COVID and a type 2 diabetic. I haven't worked in the office in 4 years, driving the bitchy females nuts saying it's so unfair. I work around the clock from home, and have everything prepared and ready for the 'team' when they get to work. When the female bitches complain I'm not there to explain something, I send my numerous emails where I explained in detail, what needs to be done.

Women go into business and become abusive cunts, end of story. Look how many kids are fucked up by bad mothers. Women are biologically meant to be maternal, it’s nature.

Bad mothers and absent fathers is a bad combo. Unfortunately in our feminist world that’s what the workforce has become.

I’m “Reply All,” all day long.

I'm a tiresome, overlong email signature that includes my pronouns ("she/her") and an "inspirational" quote.

I'm the grudges that they hold. The slightest of slights that they NEVER forget.