Britney Spears' high school take on Sophocles

We could run circles around her mentally yet she is the millionaire. Yup life is unfair sometimes.

[quote]shrani.si

Shouldn't you be in bed, darling? Shouldn't *I* be in bed? And yes, that seems pretty bad, though depends in which grade she wrote that.

Bless her heart.

And yet as we type tonight, at this very moment, she’s got her face down, ass in the air while this guy plows her:

Once upon a time they actually tried to make us believe that teenage Britney was an aspiring novelist.

What's with the image-hosting site based in Slovenia?

I'm impressed she can write in cursive.

Looking it up I see Brit was born in 1981 so if that paper is legit she would have written it about eight years AFTER she auditioned for the Mickey Mouse Club. I doubt her parents took much time emphasizing penmanship, grammar, and vocabulary when there was so much to be done with matters like the singing and dance lessons.

Give her a seat at the new Algonquin Round Table.

QUEEN!!!

What school was she going to that they assigned Antigone in the dum-dum English class? At my high school, Antigone was taught in AP English senior year. The dum-dum English class for seniors taught books like To Kill a Mockingbird, which I read in eighth grade.

Or was Britney in honors/AP English? If so, whose genius idea was it to place her there?

r4 That's just her armpiece. Those two haven't fucked once.

Rex Warner's name is on the paper. Who is he?

R11, in my school, we read Antigone in freshman year and this was in a non-honors class.

The best thing that can be said is that her cursive looks neat.

Here's the second page of the essay, where Brit arrives at a wise conclusion that the ending of the play was very weird. You can also see her teacher's notes below: the only good thing he has to say about her report is that the cover of her notebook looks nice.

R13 Rex Warner translated Antigone into English. Something tells me Brit thought he was the actual author of the play.

Let's not forget that this is the woman who thought that Canada was in Europe.

What ? Britney is stupid ?

Yes, and so are you, R18 for posting that vile picture. Seriously, fucking stop.

That anyone gives a shit about this talentless bimbo in 2019 is proof of how far our standards have dropped and how awful str8 white southerners really are. You actually managed to get even more tacky and trashy after several decades of integration.

Stop paying attention to this dumb hillbilly broad and send her back to the swamp where she belongs. She is a danger to herself and to others. She's everything wrong with Madonna, only worse.

Who would buy it? And why? R4 looks hot

Britney seems sweet, but no one ever accused her of being smart. You don't have to be a genius to be a pop star; she found a career that suits her well enough. The only surprising thing is that she got a B+ for this.

I can't even believe Britney Spears can read or write her own name, nor do I believe she has ever read [italic]Antigone[/italic] or can even pronounce it correctly. I can believe she was dumb enough to confuse an English translator with an actual author.

I think Beach Blanket Bingo (or perhaps How to Stuff a Wild Bikini) had Annette Funicello singing that the perfect boy didn't need to be Euripides. This is about as lame, although at least Funicello could plead not guilty to the lyrics of that song.

R23, she went to school in the south so there you go. In my school in the Chicago burbs, that would have gotten me a C- or D. My teacher would have said: "Please seek help, you seem confused on Sophocles's intention".

At least she's read Antigone which means she's most likely got one over on at least half the people on DL calling her dumb.

Of course she thought the ending was weird; that shit is heavy and she seemed really young, judging by her grammar. You need someone to guide you through that shit in order to be able to fully appreciate it. Otherwise, it's like casting pearls before swine.

R27, no, not really. I think most people on DL are smarter than she is, even if they support Bernie.

[quote]I think most people on DL are smarter than she is

You must hang in some very sheltered threads.

Oh Britney.

R30, I don't go in any of the threads that have nudity since I am at work. So that might be it.

"heaven of ghost"

[quote]And yet as we type tonight, at this very moment, she’s got her face down, ass in the air while this guy plows her:

Yes, and look what happened to Federline after marrying her...

R29, no not really what? R27 didn't say most people WEREN'T smarter than Britney, but that most calling her dumb probably haven't even read Antigone.

R35, the implication is that Britney Spears is smarter than the people on DL because unlike us, she has (at the very least) read Antigone. Which doesn't make any sense. Someone having to read something required in school doesn't make them any smarter.

R24 I have a hard time believing she read the play as well but SparkNotes wasn't around yet back then and she obviously picked up Rex Warner's name somewhere so I think she had to at least glance at the book. But yeah, the idea of Brit even being in the same room with a copy of Antigone is pretty mind-blowing.

And she got that good grade for it because this was either one of the best book reports in her class or because she was already considered to be a celeb in Kentwood (thanks to her stink as a Mouseketeer) and received special treatment from the teachers.

No, it doesn't R36. It says she has one over on a lot of those calling her dumb. It's probably true.

[quote] have a hard time believing she read the play as well but SparkNotes wasn't around yet back then

But Cliffsnotes were.

R37, that's what happens when your classmates were the result of incest.

Yeah, the teacher only grading her on spelling and neatness was a total copout.

People who are dumb never think they're dumb. They always think they're a lot smarter than they are.

[quote]Let's not forget that this is the woman who thought that Canada was in Europe.

Wha'? It ain't, innit?

The teacher was probably her cousin/aunt.

Yes, both of them because Louisiana.

[quote]I have a hard time believing she read the play as well but SparkNotes wasn't around yet back then

Cliffs Notes has been around since 1958. "IDG Books purchased CliffsNotes in 1998 for $14,200,000. John Wiley & Sons acquired IDG Books (renamed Hungry Minds) in 2001."

[quote]Us Weekly pointed out that the 24-year-old singer's paper had the typical spelling errors associated with junior high school students -

LOL - of course, she was in high school when she wrote this, so having errors associated with junior high school students...

We shouldn't make fun of a child trying her best to wrap her head around a Sophocles play. Learning is messy.

I'm pretty sure I knew how to spell rumor in Junior High.

my six grade class in 1965 put on the play "The Return of Odysseus". This was a school in Bethpage on Long Island. Grumman Aerospace was footing the bill for the towns education and dammit, we got one of the best...right through high school. Mind you, NO kid in my elementary school wanted to see it but we put on class plays for the whole school back then. I do remember my mother making me a toga from an old white sheet for my costume.

[quote]my six grade class

[quote]Grumman Aerospace was footing the bill for the towns education and dammit, we got one of the best...right through high school.

Do they want their money back?

People forget that she was signed onto Jive at 15 and BOMT burst onto the scene when she was 16. She could have very well already been a pop star by the time she wrote this.

She's from the South... should we expect more?

I have cousins from Atlanta. They're 18 and 20 and both can barely read or write. The 18 year old likes to brag that he has never read a book in his life.

They both got in to college on sports scholarships. Their parents don't care that their kids are near failing. Their only concern is that they keep themselves eligible to play.

I call hoax. It’s not like she was going to have an STEM or academic career if she hadn’t gone into show business.

r49 typo baby...I know I should proof read but this is DL...not looking to improve my life at this point. Of course there is no edit.

[quote]Antigone is about a girl who looses her brother during a war.

Britney could be a DL'er. She doesn't know the difference between "lose" and "loose," either.

This is a HIGH SCHOOL essay in the United States??? What??? It's not what she wrote that is shocking - it's the low level of requirements. A short and unstructured retelling of the play and two sentences about why she LIKES it??? That's 8-year-old-level shit where I'm from. Not exaggerating. And a B+???

R52 Not a hoax, you bumbling idiot. Here's more info on the auction, which took place all the way back in 2003. The funniest thing about it is that she donated this report herself (I thought maybe her former teacher did it). Didn't it even occur to her how stupid it would make her look? She probably thought people would be impressed by that good score she received.

Omg I didn't know Britney was so brainy.

I have seen coma patients who were smarter than her.

This was written on the back:

"90s clothing style always and forever! I hope I continue making creepy stare into the camera videos when I am 40! Why does Windex taste good? "

And here's the handmade cover that her teacher was fawning over. I'm now convinced that her teacher was a relative of hers too, because this looks like something a 5-year old with special needs might put together.

R55, education standards are vary A LOT, not just between states but between districts too. This essay would have gotten me a D in high school with the teachers I had. They would then proceed to tell me some variation of "you don't belong in this class".

I have to say I am amazed the teacher instructed the students to make a handmade cover. The last time I had to do that was when i was in 5th grade. Doing 5th grade work in 9th grade? Ahhhhhh, the south lol.

was in Mississippi after all, y'all. #48th in tha state rankins' thingamajig list thing where they look at how well all them schools is doin'

I might’ve believed this if you claimed this was by Lisa Whelchel.

r42 yes, look at trump....

[quote]education standards are vary A LOT

Oh, dear.

R66, should say "vary a lot".

She’s never claimed to be an intellectual powerhouse. I’m impressed she can even write.

If I'd written something like this in high school in Europe, I wouldn't have gotten a D. I'd have been quietly and compassionately shipped over to a special needs class.

Cmon guys. She didn't make this up. She did what a teacher asked of her, and that was to write what the play was about and why she liked it. At 15-16 years of age. With cover art.

I don’t believe she went to high school. “Baby one more time” came out when she was 16.

She probably got to around the 8th grade education wise. School is not necessary when you’re an intellectual dullard but a money making sex bot.

Was this written in Mickey Mouse school?

Some of bitter old queens act like this is the final product. This was likely the rough draft to be typed on a computer and then submitted. She was born in the 80s not the 50s like you old cunts.

R73, LMAO, are you serious?!

R73, I'm not sure what high school you went to where you had to make handmade "art" as a cover for an English essay. Did you also put pony stickers and glitter on your covers?

I went to Birmingham (AL) public schools, which were no great shakes even in the early–mid '80s, and in my English classes we were expected to start mining for the DHM (Deep Hidden Meaning) around seventh grade.

Britney attended Parklane Academy in McComb, MS until ninth grade. Then she returned to Kentwood, LA where she visited the local high school for a year. I guess that's when she hit it really big and dropped out but she did eventually graduate via long-distance learning from University of Nebraska High School (the same school where Justin Timberlake got his diploma at).

Speaking of Parklane Academy, that school is notoriously racist:

[quote] The school was founded in 1970 in reaction to the desegregation of the McComb, Mississippi public schooling system. Originally new students were required to have the sponsorship of two families whose children attended the academy and no black students were invited. Asked about the lack of African-American students in 1994 Kathy Miller, administrative assistant at Parklane, told the Austin American-Statesman that "we have a couple of black students. Well, we have a couple of students named Black." By 2002 Parklane had tax-exempt status and therefore, according to school official Billy Swindle, followed a required non-discrimination policy. In a city that was 58.40% African-American as of the 2000 census, no African-American children had attended Parklane Academy as of 2005. However, according to Swindle, "Parklane does have some Asian pupils". Its annual tuition of $2,600 could be an impediment.

Ah, a segregation academy—that explains it. "Seg academies" proliferated throughout the South after desegregation. Basically, they're private schools founded for the sole purpose of insulating white kids from black kids, and frequently offering an even shittier education than your average public school.

Educational standards have dropped in most areas of the United States. Britney's generation was the last to learn cursive handwriting, even. I bet that many of today's high school students write even worse. In fact, I know they do.

R79, yes, they do. It's bad. My parents are from a developing country that is far poorer than America with far less money to spend on education yet the standards there are MUCH higher. Handwriting standards are extremely strict and if your work is sloppy or looks like it was written in haste, they will fail you for the assignment.

She really put a lot of effort with that green crayon on the cover "art".

Eerie that Britney Spears is exactly like Brittany in Daria.

I actually find this admirable and assumed she did on her own. I would bet a lots of kids her age now wouldn’t be able to compose as good as this without the aid of spellchecker and google.

Leave Britney alone!

I liked it. I think she should start a weekly blog and call it something like "Brit on the Classics" where she can offer her musings on other literary pieces.

Terrible paper; all she did was retell the story.

Adult Britney hired a math tutor to teach her math so that she could help her own children with their math homework...

Maybe she hired an English tutor too!

"And Mrs. Dalloway was going to buy flowers for a party. All by hurself and she had a lotta adventures and then she came home. I thought this story was interesesting but like, made no sense."

"Why read Dickens when Dickens can be in you?".

😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄😄

Please help me, I've fallen and I can't get up.

I love Brit.

[quote]she went to school in the south so there you go

I grew up in NY where I was an average student. My dad retired (I was a tail ender kid) and we moved to Florida. I was on the honor roll there without even trying.

Oh R80. What does it even matter though?

Britney is rich without handwriting and is about as useful as Meghan Markle.

You can have the poorer culture that writes pretty or you can be Britney Spears! But you can't have it all.

LMFAO R92. Sad but funny.

This reminds me of Nickelodeon child actor Drake Bell recently confessing that he tried to complete HS for one year (OSCA) and dropped out before graduating with a 0.6.

It became a running gag on the teencom he was in that his character was failing almost every class including gym (“you’re failing GYM? How All you have to do is show up!”)

I remember hearing a radio interview with her when she was relatively new on the scene. I thought it had to be a fake spoof. I didn’t think a person could honestly be as dumb and clueless as she sounded.

R95 how old are they now? I still think of them as kids.

They both seem gay.

^^R97 I feel the same. They’re both 33 years old now but I think of them as perennially young and in the ‘kids’ box in my head (like all younger Millennials).

I also thought they’d grow up to be gay and even heard rumors to that effect. The web tells me that Josh is married to a younger lady now and Drake dates Playboy girls.

As a highschool English teacher, I can accurately say that this appears to be the writing of a fourth Grade child.

To be fair, it’s better than I would have expected from her.