Things that you've learned about yourself through Datalounge.com

OP, are you Brandon Cody?

Oh, hi, Donkeyteefs!!

MARY!

OP, you must be Erna!

Pyroclastic lava flows. And that DL has the highest concentration of out there freaks of any site I've visited in the past 900 years. That's why I keep coming back. The rest of the net and the world is all anodyne have a nice day and we can't say those things.

You forgot old and bald. You're also old and bald.

I learned about the origins of coffee today.

And a cunt. Don't forget you're a cunt too, cunt.

Oh yes. That too.

I've learned I type fat.

I’m a DLEG who doesn’t know any elder gays! I’m single handedly responsible for an entire generation of crybabies not getting hired in senior positions immediately upon graduation. Why, my large house prevents any of them from ever buying a house.

Yep, all *me*

I've learned that I'm apparently a Russian troll.

I've learned that I've never been to me.

I've learned that making fun of Trump voters on Thanksgiving means I'm a bad person.

I haven't learned much about myself lately, but way back sometime between 2011 and 2014, probably, I was posting here anonymously instead of using my present "name." I can't remember what the discussion was about, but tempers were running high. I called somebody an asshat, and was immediately accused of being a frau because "only a woman would call anyone an 'asshat." Go figure.

OP, I learned all that about you, plus I learned that one should name ones cows from those names listed in The Big Book of Cow Names (Unabridged), of which someone here is the steward. Otherwise, all the other cows will laugh at them, and that sours the milk.

I learned that the expression “shine it on” doesn’t make sense, apparently.

I have never learned what WHET is.

OP aren’t you a racist too?

That I was made to stop little bitches and put them in their place.

What Happened Ever To.. so and so, is the traditional DL form of WEHT. Same with pron/porn etc. I actually love that

We think about feeding opposite holes.

R19 I am not sure I've been called that, but probably, thanks.

Ah, thank you OP. See? You're not so bad after all. You can be redeemed!!

That I look decent in high jeans but cannot master hygiene.

I learnt that I'm a diaper fetishist.

That I am dull.

I learned I have this thing called a "stank sleeve". Apparently, some men take great offense towards other men who have them.

I learned what a Chode is.......

I learned that evidently I am the WELP troll by making the mistake of posting on a Harry Styles thread.

Some frau cow got her Depends twisted and let me have it!

The lady doth protest too much, me thinks.

I'm not very brite.

I learned that I am worse than Hitler.

I learned that I'm too dumb to live.

I was told that I'm someone called BILL TAYLOR. I'm not but how do I prove otherwise ?

I learned that whether you live in a trailer on SSI, or a penthouse overlooking Central Park- you can still be lonely, bitter and despondent.

I learned that for a while, Jackie was on Assistance.

The term eldergay.

I learned the terms: crotchfruit, woke, swole, thirsty,frau, and Virst Liddy.

Oh yes, and not to drain pasta!

Even as a gay man, I have learned that on rare occasions, and quite unintentionally, I am a Frau.

I'm a whore, darlin'!

I learned that the cunt is actually attached to a bone. The cunt bone.

That if I'm black, I had better avoid marrying into the royal family.

I’m an “elder.”

RMAOTFLOL R43

Apparently I’m a “racist” because I have no black friends (and am not interested I’m making any.)

I learned that raising concerns about Hillary’s presidential chances made me a concern troll.

I found I have to stick up for Sarah, Duchess of York. I like her

I've learned precious little about myself from posting here, but I have learned to hate that bipolar mess who posts here as "Anonymous."

I am both a gay man and a frau, apparently.

Also, I'm both a brainless millennial and a crotchety eldergay.

My adult son is gay. As his mother, I have tried to support him. When I told him I’m on DL, he scoffed, oh, so you think you know everything about being gay .

I know NOTHING.

I learned much from DL: the incomprehensible cruelty that gay people suffer, the best Hollywood gossip, the news, politics, alternative ways of thinking, etc.

I am touched by personal stories of love, family, loneliness and loss, especially of those who have been rejected by their families. Unspeakable. I love all you guys, like a mom,

I learned I’m not transphobic. The hate here is disturbing.

I learned that OP us easily TRIGGERED.

I learned that the penalty for me not doing a search is death by grease fire.

You forgot flaccid, OP! Don’t forget flaccid

R52 - you’re a sweet, compassionate mother! You can melt even my cold bitter heart. Thanks for supporting your son and all of us bitches too! 😘

I learned that I'm much older than I thought I was.

I like my pasta dressed, and my men naked.

I'm very much like the search function on DataLounge.

I rarely ever work.

I learned that I’m not alone.

R52. Is Wrigleyville cum dump your son?

I learned that people other than my therapist enjoy hearing about my preteen sexual experiences with classmates.

I moved to Palm Springs solely based on a link on a thread about small homes

Same hun. x

I learned that a lady so nice as r52 could be cherished around here.

Damn, no chance to be bitchy here. None.

And somehow I forgive you.

everyone farts...alot

RhodaBorrocks? You’re sweet. I like you. I’ve learned that. x

That I look 10 years younger than I am.

R68 - there’s nothing “sweet” about that dried up old cunt RhodaBorrocks except the powdered sugar around her mouth from inhaling a dozen donuts this morning.

R68 Sweet? You’re confusing me with somebody else, honey. x

R70 Are you on Grindr? Fancy a hatefuck? I’ll bring donuts! x

I learned that Mariah Carey can't be bothered with my problems because she has troubles of her own.

Oh, and she doesn't know me either.

I learned that all Asians are not ugly.

I’ve been called all of the above. The accusation that English is my second language is nevertheless factual.

I don’t see it as a negative experience; after four years on Datalounge, I’m as hardened as a concentration camp survivor. Even people I know in real life have told me I’ve become a tougher and more intimidating personality. I used to be somewhat of a milquetoast.

R75 - what’s milk toast?

That people think my name is Boris

Or Karen

Depends on the thread

People think I’m “Jabba.”

That I am a pass around party bottom.

I learned that Aaron Schock has an insanely hot body and most accommodating hole, and that as soon as I become a foreign billionaire I can have as much of it as I want.

That I have too much sex compared to the average DL’er and am classified as a whore

BBC is most definitely real, and deeply satisfying

Oh, I love this thread.

I’m exhausting. And fake. And a troll.

R52 I will pretend that I believe this BS. Your adult gay son, ADULT, doesn't need you here, and neither do we. You are TOTALLY gross and out of line Lady. How dare you ? How dare you come here, and play the ' poor you' card, The totally gross passive agressive bullshit that you probably served your poor son all his life. You are not here to support him. You are here because you are a vicious little perv. Get the fuck out of here, you disgusting twisted piece of pro-abortion shit. Controlling men turns you on isn't it bitch ? Fuck off, for real

I learned I’m a pretty popular choice on DL polls.

But honestly, at this point, I’ve had sufficient.

R84 I wish you had been aborted.

I have learned that I am cold/inhuman/heartless/cruel, etc. for not allowing alcoholics, drug addicts, and bi-polar people to destroy my life.

R52 , it wouldn't be a beautiful day in the Datalounge neighborhood if you weren't anonymously hated on, full stop. Spineless, uncontrolled rage is a feature here, not a bug, apparently.

Fuck off, R84! And don't speak for all of us, you mommy-hating tremulous neeurotic misogynist.

Allies are most welcome! And this nice lady even politely omitted all the vitriol she must've drunk here on a daily basis. I mean, the face of DL is far from pretty, it's like an embittered Charles Laughton visage erupting fire and brimstone at the vulnerable and the gentle.

Yeah, we are a backwater. Hopefully non-representative of the community, but we still have some lovely membHopefully ers, MissLucy, this was about you. You are fabulous, miss Lucy! Where do i put the Emma ji? Here. ❤️

That I must at least be 30 years older than I actually am. I've been labeled an Eldergay at least a half dozen times. Oh well, I'll take it as a compliment!

R52 - don’t listen to that cunt^^^^

I love you 😘

You guys deserve your lives. Victims the lot of you. Allies my ass. This lady is worse than the fucking nazis. You are invading my privacy, bitch. And your son's. All all the men's here. You deserve the death by grease fire. Jump

Who’s dropping r92 into the greasefire? ByeBye.

I will gladly drop r92 into a grease fire. What a worthless cunt

Oh no, did you think this was your own safe space, your private coven, R92, where buffaloes graze and no XX chromosome is in sight? Sadness. But I do have an idea for you. You don't need the DL, you need therapy. Freudian therapy, if I'm not gravely mistaken.

I've learned that Datalounge can turn on you in a hateful heartbeat over just about any subject.

The Loungers will also offer love, tears, and words of encouragement when you mourn the loss of pets and parents.

How can you not love that !

[quote] only a woman would call anyone an 'asshat."

That’s not just a woman’s term — it’s something a Midwestern frau would say.

Grownups say asshole.

Asses don’t wear hats

🎼 Silent Night.

Meth’s just not right.

R 92

Please don’t take drugs.

R97 with respect but, NO!

The term asshat has been around since South Park at least ten years ago. A show that never known directly to Fraus.

R98 If your head is UP your ass, then your ass becomes your hat! SEE?

I type fat. Which ... is appropriate I guess. All these years of using Chris Evans as my avatar on social media apparently hasn't worked.

Funny thread of old fat farts. LOL

Yes, r100, now I see!

-r98

That the Wisconsin Diva is a total cunt!

That I am, officially, now a "pillow princess"!

That I am a STUPID CUNT DYKE!!!

('Cept I'm not a dyke. And I'm not stupid. But I'm definitely a CUNT!)

That I am the worst thing to ever happen to DataLounge.

That I'm a "disgusting human being" for having sex with women in my teens and 20's!!! "FUCKING DISGUSTING!!!"

And that I should die! Humph.

r12 I am too, as are the Australians, New Zealanders, Surinamese, English, Irish, Welsh, Scottish, and English-language Canadians because we include a 'u' in words like colour, glamour, rancour.

I learned that I am a cruel fool for anagramming titles of Charles Dickens novels into funny vulgarities. And I am the worst for not buying into the common sentiment that only after 1991 were movies and television worth seeing, and albums worth owning and listening to, introduced.

And that I'm past due to topple from arterosclerosis because I eat more than 60 grams protein, and fewer than 75 grams carbohydrates per day.

I've learned that--even as a fat senior--I have value, even though I'm a piece of shit.

I have learned that the Bellagio hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada has notoriously unreliable plumbing and that the management there REFUSES to take responsibility for problems created by it.

Hate is easy, love is hard. Both are fun. The DL has it all. x

R110 LOL !!!

Relatively speaking, I am privately, internally, a very nice person and there are so many more deeply hateful, cruel and jealous people in this world than I ever would have guessed without access to this anonymous message board.

😞 I'm not absolutely, positively certain, but I believe I might be what many DLers refer to as [italic] Poor White Trash.

Most people here tell me that I am a raging asshole, a grade A man-bitch and a cunt, and that my mother should have got an abortion, but I still think I am very sweet IRL

After reading your psychotic posts to the mother of a gay man, r116, I think you can rest assured that you are a raging asshole, etc., wherever you go.

Oh really.? Does it take Dr Freud to see that the son is gay because he unconsciously hated his own cunt of a mother ? I was 10 times gayer after reading her post. Come back here Lady, just answer me this, are you a feminist ?

Another thing I’ve just recently been reminded of that I learned on DL: Some people just can’t let things fucking go!

I've learned that I'm a black lesbian.

I learned that I type fat. And that Cheryl's pussy stinks.

[post redacted because linking to dailymail.co.uk clearly indicates that the poster is either a troll or an idiot (probably both, honestly.) Our advice is that you just ignore this poster but whatever you do, don't click on any link to this putrid rag.]

[quote] we include a 'u' in words like colour, glamour, rancour.

And for that, we must kill you.

Does Canada use British spelling?

Do they say Schhhh-dual? How about Al-lou-min-e-um? Left-tenant?

Non-French Canadians sound like Fargo people to me.

I bought some car hart pants and found out I’m a lez.

I’ve learned that I am easily triggered.

I've learned that I am supposedly an uptight cunt because I have the audacity not to allow dinner parties be ruined by selfish and prissy individuals who have an insane amount of dietary restrictions .

My life is so bizarre that it seems like a series of ests. also I’m a Russian troll. I think it’s because I don’t love Justin Trudeau. He’s not left wing enough for me.

I have learned that the longer someone's post is, the more insane they are. This is probably because no one talks to them in real life, so they have to unloadeverything here.

You usually find these unbalanced essayists in the anti-Meghan Markle threads, the anti-AA threads, and of course the #TrannyPanic threads.

I learned how to analyze the various ways Linda Lavin jazz-sang the theme song and closing credits music to the sitcom "Alice."

I have learned more about royal tiaras than I ever dreamed possible.

I’ve learned that I’m fine, and I send my love.

I learned that I'm a rational, thoughtful, well-read, well-spoken, sensible adult in a sea of juveniles on a playground during 5th grade recess.

R134 Well.... smell you!

I have learned that Aaron Schock has a spectacularly ripped body, but that he doesn't keep his bunghole very clean.

I have learned to talk about my feelings,man.

I've learned that there's already been a thread on this. That it would not have killed me to have done a search first. I mean, really. I've learned I do not think of other people. If I were considerate I would post a link too. I am pathetic. Really.

I believe that's referred to as a MANIFESTO, R130.

You literally are a prostitute, OP, no?

R89 Your kind words are very much appreciated. Thank you so much.

R141 - is your screen name an homage to the talented Lucille Ball, or another “fabulous” Lucy?

I think it’s an homage to the buxom blonde Lucy Ewing from “Dallas.”

I named myself The Fabulous Miss Lucy after a cat my partner and I adopted last summer. She had already been named Lucy. When I took her out of her carrier, her personality shone forth like the sun, and I said to her, "You're the fabulous Miss Lucy." The name stuck. For anyone interested in the details of her arrival at my home, I've copied and pasted this from another thread:

*****Back in the summer, we adopted a black male cat, but while we were finalizing the adoption, I glanced through the window into the free-range room where cats can roam around and enjoy toys, cat trees, etc. I saw two little waifs huddled together in the bottom area of the cat tree. I mentioned them to the employee who was finalizing the adoption, and he said, "Oh, they're the sisters. They belonged to an old lady for four years, and when she died, her daughter took the cats. Now the daughter is moving and can't take the cats with her."

I knew that they would get a home because this is a no-kill shelter, but if they were not adopted within six weeks, they would be shuffled off to another shelter. Those two cats haunted me, when I got back home. They had looked scared. Twenty-five days passed. Every day I looked at the shelter's facebook page, and the sisters were still there. Finally I said to my partner, "Would you be in favor of us adopting the two sisters?" The black cat we had previously adopted had been his choice, and he told me, "No problem. If you want them, let's get them. We have room for more."

We drove to the shelter with a great sense of urgency, and when we arrived there, I couldn't see them anywhere. The attendant told me that five days ago, they had been farmed out to a pet supply store, and checking their records, the girls had still not been adopted.

Off we went again. And, to make a long story a little shorter, we took them home with us. I realize why they were such a hard sell. They were 8 years old. One of them, my namesake, Lucy, had half an ear missing. It looked as though it had been cut off. The other, Cinder, had one eye, having lost the other in an "accident" when she was a very young kitten. She also had bone distortion around the missing eye. Her left hind leg was partially dislocated. She was very timid and nervous. The vet who signed her papers said that the leg wasn't giving her any trouble and that he recommended leaving it as it was. I am positive that there was some abuse in their past.

Cinder has small seizures as a result of her "accident," not frequently, and will pee a bit when it happens, but we look after that. It's what we do.

Lucy, we found out, is a dwarf, a natural dwarf, not a cat that is bred to be small. She has short stocky legs and a body no larger than a half grown kitten. Cinder herself is very small but Lucy makes her look large. I am SO happy we brought those girls home. They appeared to have had a difficult life, and they are sweet loving kitties.

I've learned that what's funny to Dataloungers doesn't necessarily translate well with civilians.

[quote]I have learned that I am fat, ugly, repulsive, an antisemite, a frau (?), that english is a second language for me, that I am a chav, that I am a PROSTATUTE, that I am old and decrepite, that I need to die in a grease fire/kill myself/catch aids.

Honey, you know that 30 years ago

R144 - thanks for a wonderful post!! ❤️

It was my pleasure.

That I don’t possess the proper amount of respect and appreciation for InstHo’s

I learned that my work is never done.

My assistant Randolf says “hello”, incidentally.

I've learned that I'm holy, since everyone is constantly blessing my heart.

I've learned not to talk about caftans, which I love and still wear.

I've learned that I love cheap trash like Ben Affleck and Mark Wahlberg and would let them fuck me whenever and wherever.

I've learned that I'm an eldergay who still dreams of meeting a soulmate but whose time has passed him by.

I've learned there are some really nasty mean people here at DL but I keep coming back to catch up on all the bullshit.

You are truly fabulous, Miss Lucy, and I'm glad to have met you, albeit only online. Your story about your cats got me a little teary, I admit. I wish your little family all the joy and health you deserve.

that it is Always Funny in Sillydelphia

R53 That means a lot to me. Thank you!

Damn! I meant to say R153 That means a lot to me!

R125 I think it's mainly a certain area of the province of Ontario who talk like that.

r156, thanks for clarifying that you don't give a flying fig about transphobia.

Transphobia sucks. I am so sad that I found such rampant hate for fellow LGBTs here. No, I don't want to hear your reasons for it. It's just sad.

I support trans people. They have it the hardest out there. Real warriors!! I'm proud of you.

R158 What??????

I love transphobia. I think it's refreshing!!!

[quote]R159 Transphobia sucks. I am so sad that I found such rampant hate for fellow LGBTs here. No, I don't want to hear your reasons for it. It's just sad.

It’s really only 1, maybe 2, posters here that go on and on about that stuff. Everyone else is like, “???”

Anyone who grew up gay knows trans(vestite/whatever) has always been part of our family.

R158 - “Transphobia” is not a real thing.

[quote]It’s really only 1, maybe 2, posters here that go on and on about that stuff. Everyone else is like, “???”

I hope you're right, R162! They are extremely aggressive and persistent though. Why doesn't Muriel block them?

Can we please get back to things we've learned now?

I’ve learned r165 is a whiny bitch.

I learned that straight me is so dumb

That secretly, I am a grammar troll and I didn't even graduate high skool !!!!

Everybody's Mary. Except for Ginny and the woman with the stank crotch.

My name is Jan

I've learned that Susan Richardson was the most beloved actress in Hollywood.

r171, but what did you learn about YOURSELF? Fuck's sake, focus!

I have learned that the oddly named "Turkey Lurkey Time" from the show PROMISES PROMISES is, in fact, all it was ever hyped up to be:

I suck at writing, but I’m getting better.

I just learned Turkey Lurky Time is from Promises, Promises. I thought it was from How to Succeed in Business. But I am no broadway maven.

I've learned that I'm a white eldergay. This was very confusing to me, as I am a mixed chick, but I am coming to terms with it.

R176 lmao

[quote]I learned that straight me is so dumb

It's not "is so dumb." It's "are so stupid." As in "Why are straight me so stupid?"

Sorry to be so pedantic, but it's a way to demonstrate what I've learned about myself. Namely, that a grease fire is too good for me.

I live in my mother's basement, would have to pay for sex if I actually could get any, which I haven't in decades obviously, since I am a repulsive ugly old Trumpster, etc.. but I am also somehow an underrage kept boy living in the UK AND a russian troll... Oh and I have several major mental issues and really need help. I need to get help. Really.

I’m an oversized gorilla who has no business flying coach.

Elitist/flyover, alt-right/woke, neo-nazi/far-left, fat/anorexic, incel/whore

R181 you left out binary/non binary

I’m a monster for reclining my seat on a flight. Though, it’s okay on a long haul trip, in which case I an not a monster.

No, R183. You are a monster at all times if you recline your seat on an airplane and there is a person behind you when you do it.

No exceptions.

I've found I am

Ok, I am a monster for reclining my seat on a flight. Though, it’s okay if there’s no one behind me, and what other restrictions R184 cares to dictate.

I’ve learned that my pussy stinks.

I've learned that I have a cunt bone.

I've learned that I'm a Cheesehead whose jizz smells like Limberger. I find this rather disturbing.

DL has taught me that it is NOT alright to wipe my dick on the curtains after I have done my bidness with someone. Where I come from, that's a sign of affection and satisfaction!

When you go to a dinner party at someone's home, never pee in the guest bath sink.

I have learned that at least one person apparently watched [italic]Bednobs and Broomsticks[/italic] all the way through.

I’ve learned that I “have no eye whatsoever.”

I’ve learned that autocorrect is “real” so I need to proof my verbiage before submitting.

I have learned that after I was born, my penis was MUTILATED before I even left the hospital.

R195 ☹️

OP IS THE WELP TROLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

R144 what a vile story. Cats are disgusting.

R197 Lmao! Ok, it sure doesn’t sound like a compliment. I’ve been a DL’er forever and been called many things, except the “Welp Troll”.

Are you sure YOU are not the welp troll? Look who supposedly is calling the kettle black.

I think the welp troll is a figment of someone's imagination. I've been here forever and have never encountered a troll using the word "welp."

I just learned from another thread that at 5’8”, I’m a pocket gay!

I’M THE TALLEST PERSON IN MY FAMILY!!

R199 you are not OP. I am OP

R202 nope, I’m OP. Like the thread and you will see.

R303 gotcha! I know I’m not the OP.

R203 you are not OP. I am OP

Gays is sexually attracted to women and Straight men loves to fuck men.

I'm the 68 year old woman who still can't understand why gay men don't find me desirable.

R144 You're a sweetheart. I knew I liked you for a reason.

I've learned that I was a racist to my own race.

That there are lots of people way more fucked up than I'll ever be.

Ever, R210?

That I'm a Russian operative because I botched a gerund once.

I learned to "stay in my own lane".

I've learned that I am not as tolerant as I think.

Also that at minimum wage I am poor

I'm a racist, an SJW, Boris, Erna, a drug addict, a cult member, a Trumper, a communist, possibly Matt, and illiterate.

Things reaffirmed that I already knew - I type fat and I am a cunt.

That I'm a fucking-whore. (That's fucking as a gerund, like rocking-horse.)

That I am unexplainably fascinated and obsessed with Aaron Schock’s hole.

I’m a “dum-dum”.

R208 Thank you so much. You made my day!

The Welp Troll is real - see this thread. They stopped saying welp because they were called out on it so much but they still say all their other shit, accusing anyone who disagrees with their opinions of him a PR shill, paid to post, Russian bot etc.

I’ve learned that my humor is not always funny. Tone it down.