Let’s be the Locker & Steam Room

I’m the cockblocking troll that never leaves because if I’m not getting cock, neither is anyone else.

I’m the senior citizen that insists on doing naked calisthenics even though there is no room to do them.

I'm the misty white vapor. I have witnessed unspeakable acts among mankind since the beginning of time, and I intend to continue doing so.

I'm the poor locker room attendant who to has to pick up the skid marked, pea stained underwear my club's patrons leave all over the locker room floor. I also have to flush the toilets no one else seems to know how to do, and mop the puddles of piss constantly pooled by the urinals.

R1 on the flip side. I’m the 20ish yo Twink, you think I’m straight and I’m a ‘7’ at best, but I will sit in the steam room eyes closed & motionless holding up the circle jerk, waiting for a 90s era Brad Pitt to walk in and hope it thins out to pretty much just me & him at which point I’ll be getting nailed on the bench. I haven’t quite figured out the difference between cruising and Grindr and treat this area as my personal cruising grounds because I’m so young and “hot”.

I'm the administrators of the gym and we're cancelling you aged gays' memberships if we get any more reports.

I'm OP, the sad perv who thinks anybody entering a steam room is fair game for homosex, that everyone should know steam rooms were invented soley for homosex, and that there is no such thing as "unwanted" advances in a steam room.

Oh this thread will not go well...

I’m the old queen who spends hours in the feigned state of dress/undress, showering over and over again—making small talk with hot guys and leering at them while they get dressed/undressed/shower.

I’ve never actually worked out.

I’m the millions of elaborate towel dances performed by male millennials ever day in locker rooms all over the world.

I’m the obese old man using the hand dryer to blow dry his nuts.

Yuk. We don't need a thread about this. Some of you need to get out of the house and meet some people.

I'm the eldergay who is puzzled, a bit grossed out, yet intrigued that so many of the younger guys aren't circumcised.

I am the guy oblibious that i have a giant dick and making everyone else feel inferior.

I’m the confusion on the face of the Gen X gay member unable to identify who is gay/bi versus who is straight now that some degree of manscaping is almost universal among Millenials and Gen Z.

Oblibious!

I’m the jacked DL bodybuilder. I crave attention and body envy from everyone. I occasionally let someone ALMOST as hot as me blow me before shooting my load and heading home to my wife

I'm the guy who comes in and stays all of 50 seconds because it's too hot.

I am the thin towel that absorbs water in the steam room. I am useless to dry off with when coming out of the steam room.

I am the cheap gym that is stingy with towels. We pretend that we are trying to save the Earth by asking you not to take more than one towel. But in reality, we are just trying to scrape every cent we can from membership.

Because I was just this guy an hour ago...

I'm the guy going from steam to sauna trying to shake the guy that keeps following me because he can't take the hint that I'm not interested.

I am the hot jacked straight guy who deliberately spreads legs and assume tired hoplite poses in front of the drooling young gay and bi guys. The bi guys know better, but I am just waiting for the stupid gay to make the move so that I can have a tantrum and report him. No one will ever be so shocked, not offended.

I'm the butch, sixty-something, two hundred and fifty pound lesbian in the room next door. I am convinced a transwoman only wants to use this locker room to rape me.

Nor offended. Autocorrect.

[quote]pea stained

Did they have soup for lunch?

I’m the chubby gay wearing a Nasty Pig jockstrap in lieu of a towel in the steam room because I’m a big believer in promoting gay pride.

I sucked off a hot black dude in the sauna at Nee York Sports Club in the Crowne plaza hotel just a few ours ago!

I edged and sucked off a hot tall hairy white bearded guy at the sauna of the 'd. side ' a few hours ago.

I am the douchebag that takes up all the room in the sauna to do yoga or lay down and nap. I get evil stares from queens who huffily leave because they kill all chances of action. They are really pissed because they got all undressed for nothing.

I am the guy who just wants to relax and hopes no one begins fucking around me.

I am gay men who clutch pearls over women being sexually harassed by straight men, but think using public restrooms, locker rooms, steam rooms and saunas to have sex - or spending time leering at men using said facilities - is perfectly acceptable.

Anyone who criticizes me over this behavior is homophobic and not my ally. I feel very attacked and it makes my journey as a gay man victimized by a heterosexist world just that much more difficult.

I'm the hot local TV news anchor with all the muscles, and the thick nipples, and the big cock head, and the walnut-shaped balls, and the thick patch of pubic hair, and I wouldn't mind if you told people what I look like naked. All publicity is good publicity.

...and my bubble butt. Don't forget my bubble butt.

I am the copious amounts of seamen that make the locker room floor forever sticky.

R33 it’s called a nacreous layer of permacum

I’m the sort of ugly older guy with the huge gorgeous dick. When the steam is on full blast in the steam room, you all want me. When the steam clears, not so much.

I'm the sign on the sauna and steam room door that says "Nudity Required." Wearing any kind of clothing including gym shorts, pants and swim suits NOT allowed.

I’m a metal plate or a metal spigot on the wall in the corner. Guys will do any number of things to me—spray cold water on me, cover me with a wet paper towel, hold their hand on me—because they think this is how to get the steam started. No one really knows that this is true. It sometimes seems to work but also maybe sometimes overloads or breaks the delicate sensors of the steam apparatus, which it why they have to close the steam room for a few days every once in a while to get it repaired.

I’m the wannabe thug that goes into the steam room or sauna fully clothed with the music on my headphones full blast so everyone can enjoy the shit music I’m listening to.

I’m the weirdo straight guy with my waterproof iPhone texting the whole time.

I am the 16 year old kid who got an embarrasing hard on with all these nude guys in the locker room, only to realize everyone is drooling over my prong.

I'm the poppers-scented steam.

I’m the weirdo straight bro guy with my waterproof iPhone texting the whole time. while wearing compression shorts and socks and sneakers

no homo

I’m the manspreading chubby senior citizen sitting on the top bench in the sauna with his chubnub on display as if It were a beautiful Ming vase.

I'm the Boeing 737 MAX crashing into the gym and killing everyone

R11 eeewww, that’s just gross

R25 that’s funny

R42 and a towel around his waist and over his head, and a tshirt on

I'm bi curious and only interested in watching and wondering why none of the hot jocks are fucking like in pornos while I sit here and pretend to read the paper.

I'm the sweaty gym member putting on my work clothes without showering first. I have MRSA bacteria all over my body, but I refuse to shower after working out at the gym because someone might see my weenie.

I’m the eldergay Armenian with the crazy eyes, in a speedo at the 24 Hr. Fitness on Sunset and Vine. I’m always there, shuffling between the steam room, sauna and showers.

I'm the gym that drags his street clothes to the shower after working out, takes a shower, and then gets dressed behind the shower curtain, shoes included.

^gym member

I’m the shower curtain that doesn’t quite close al the way allowing others to take a peek inside.

I’m the architect who was forced to redesign the communal gang showers into the dreaded individual stalls ruining everything.

I am the 17yo virgin closeted twink who is keeping in eyes closed and his towel on in a circle of jerking naked bbuilders, trying to think about Marilyn Monroe's tragic death. My dick doesn't erect, but to my horror, I can't hold my drool.... FUCK !

I'm the 60 year old decent looking guy with a big dick who likes to flash his cock at everyone in the locker room and sits in the steam room with a folded wet hand towel over his dick, which he very attentively adjusts every minute or two.

I'm the thirsty Filipino twink who leers at the older guys hoping for an offer.

I'm the fit, 35 year old "straight" Italian guy who does downward dog on the top bench of the steam room, who makes himself sound much tougher when his macho fit-fat Italian friend comes in and starts making conversation.

I'm the young, hot 5' 6" bearded muscle-bound (Israeli?) guy with the big cock and designer underwear.

-----------------

Do these folks seem familiar to anyone? Can you name the cub/location?

Why are italian men so absurdly homophobic, when they really are an entire nation of queens ?? I half italian, I KNOW what they do in ' secret'. The world knows. Why this charade ?

I’m the athlete’s foot. I will flare up the day after your visit, as a little souvenir.

[quote]in the Crowne plaza hotel just a few ours ago!

Maybe yours, not ours.

[quote] I am the copious amounts of seamen that make the locker room floor forever sticky.

Only during Fleet Week.

I'm the amorphous, pink-all-over older guy with an undefined spread of fuzzy body hair and whitish mustache and combover who spends excessive amounts of time making a little bed out of towels, then lies naked on my back, occasionally tugging on my weenie if I think an interested party is present. I occupy this position for hours, occasionally strolling out naked to shower and returning, pinker than ever, to my former spot. I'm a former cop. When a crony from the neighborhood happens to be present, I sit upright and make derisive small-talk about local events, vaunting my misogyny (and even using that word as well as the c-word) towards the budget-conscious female politician who is currently threatening my lavish pension.

When the buddy leaves, I will resume my supine aspirational weenie-tugging.

I'm Karen the club manager recording the 11th complaints this month about the "fucking faggots" in the locker room.

Hiiiiiiiii I'm Herpes ! Welcome to my home

I’m the resident sauna Asian! I can go one of two ways... I can either use my genetically predisposed superhuman ability to sit in the sauna for hours on end, cockblocking any fun you though you might have while I am completely oblivious to your plight.... OR I can be the Asian who knows there’s action to be had, but because of my genetically predisposed passive nature, I will sit there doing nothing, effectively stopping any action that may be afoot.

I'm the sad troll who posts to DL monthly about how unfair it is that younger guys "towel dance" when he's around and don't "understand the simple pleasure of being naked with other men"

We're the 100+ posters who agree with him.

i'm the 100s of average cocks that can never be exposed, lest everyone think they're micro, because of, you know, porn

I’m the super selfish middle aged fucktard who brings his razor into the steamroom and starts shaving his face and/or chromedome. Yes I leave a wake of stubble and shaving cream detritus on the bench and floor; I pay my dues dammit!

I’m the hot straight college bro who actually brings a weight plate into the university sauna so I can really work Up a set doing side bends and forward lifts. Excuse me if I hit you or interrupt your moment of zen (or attempt at orgasm)

I think I can pee in the drain in the steam room and no one will know. Because pee doesn’t smell, least of all in a steam room 🙄

I'm the naked guy with biker sideburns and a body like Stretch Armstrong. I ask everybody if it's okay if I add some eucalyptus-scented stuff to the steam thingy.

I am the lady who sits proudly right in the middle of the middle bench, all wrapped in my joan-of-arc towel. Ready for this fight, fight against sexism, fight against patriarchy, fight for social justice and equal rights.

I am the twink with daddy issues and virgin holes who's desperate for a bit of attention from you R71

I’m the queen sitting in the sauna moisturizing and wearing a towel and wondering why no one is into “masc for masc”

^towel turban

I'm warts on the foot.

I’m the hairless, alabaster-like older gentleman who slathers himself in the cheap, flowery smelling lotion provided in the New York Sports Club locker room and proceeds to rake a cheap disposable razor over his skin incessantly, like some sort of oily porpoise. Truly a sight to behold. And no, he is NOT there to cruise, so any ideas you might have of tugging under that towel just stop now, because he’ll sit in there for an hour... raking, raking, raking that disposable plastic razor over his hairless torso leaving the sauna smelling like a bouquet of drug store flowers

I’m always curious why people think doing certain things in the steam room or sauna has magical properties.

It's not magic; the steam just softens things up.

I'm in the 1890s, working out naked. We all worked out naked! In Greek, "Gymnasium" means "place to be naked". Get with the program.

We boxed naked, too.

All the elders seem to think doing toe touchers, squats and leg stretches are somehow more beneficial when doing them naked in the sauna and steam room—even in one where there’s barely any space to stand or sit.

I am so grateful we don't work out naked anymore. I often have to go mornings, when 98% of the patrons seem to be over 70. Gross. It's bad enough to see them parading naked in the locker room. This is how it goes at my gym. The gays go between 6 and 8am. then it's all elders until noon, then ugly office straight guys on a lunch break , then roïd queens until 4pm, then the Bros invade the space en masse. Some of them are unbelievably gorgeous. Looking like instahoes. It's heaven. But crowded. And they don't use the showers. Or the locker room. God forbid they undress in front of other dudes. Then (hot) gen Y students. Can't tell if they 're str8/bi/gay. Lots of jewels and elaborate haircuts. Between 9pm and 11pm it's hipsters. All manbun and no deo. Great bodies though. These smelly Vegan kids know what they 're doing. The SPA area is available for an extra 80$hour. That' s how they solved the 'problems'. I've only been once, when I won an abs contest and was offered an free hour. Lush. But lonely, (I didn't even know underwater threadmills existed ).

I'm the lazy fatso that skipped the gym today and came home from work with a carton of ice cream.

I'm the older half of the muscle couple that cruises the steam room and acts as lookout while my younger partner plays with other guys, coughing noisily if anyone approaches the door to allow dicks to be discreetly tucked away in time, and sometimes participating myself if it's a slow night.

I'm the 6'2", muscled guy who's about 60 years old. I've got a thick, fat, cut cock that's a good six inches flaccid. I proudly walk to and back from the showers without a towel around me so all the guys can see what a real man looks like. Sometimes I'll stay naked for a good ten minutes in the locker area. Maybe if you're lucky my locker is right next to yours. If so, I'll stand about 18 inches away from you while you're sitting on the bench with my dick at your eye level and make conversation.

Yes, this happened to me. I should've just fondled his tool.

R86 I am hard just reading your post

try to visualize it

R88, YES, that's exactly how it happened. I was talking to his cock, hoping he would take the bait that I wanted to suck him. His flaccid dick swung so beautifully when he walked.

I am the three steam rooms, three saunas, three gang shower areas, jacuzzi and open free weight room area — ALL IN THE MENS LOCKER ROOM — at the Charlotte NC Dowd YMCA.

But we are all straight, Southern bros.

Tell us more, R90!

I'm the old queen who resents anyone who goes to the gym, without intending to have sex with him, or in front of him!

Dowd YMCA in the news for having a creeper peeper with a camera.

Gotta love Uncle Bottom shrieking at 1:20 in R93's link: "Somebody just took a picture of my nephew in the bathroom!"

Uncle Bottom lolololol