SNL 12/14/19

Has there ever been a worse lineup than this one? 🤦‍♂️

Dizzzmull.

When is Eddie Murphy hosting?

I hope she plays Ivanka, spreading freedom in Africa (but not America).

Is Niall still trying to make it as a solo act?

I remember the Christmas show last year with Matt Damon when Pete Davidson threatened to kill himself right before the show aired. They had to bring him out to introduce Miley Cyrus so everyone would know that he was okay.

Lord, the drama!

Scarlett's not that funny but she's got good cheer?

The really funny ones left and did their own thing.

Fucking SICK of Scarlett. She's not that talented and not beautiful even after the nose job

how many times has she hosted?

R8 I think it will be her sixth time hosting. She and Emma Stone will end up hosting SNL quite a bit in the future because of their future husbands.

Cute opening scene.

the intro is OK...not amazing though

I don't think Scarlett will stick it out with Colin after the passion period cools down.

Ha Kate is Greta

Kate sucks at doing a Greta Thunberg impersonation.

It was Greta if she was 45 years old

Scarlett probably did some coke

Scar Jo looks high

who did Scarlett's makeup? Her undereyes are way too bright compared to the other areas of her face

The Avengers stuff is good

Scarlett has a face that's not going to age well.

I'd rather be kissing Beck.

omg the far shot really highlights Scarlett's undereye make up lol mess

This will be Scarlett's 3rd marriage? Good luck with that Colin

Oh cringe Scarlett "and I met the love of my life here! "

Oh dear. That won't look well in 5 years when she's on the next love.

Pete Davidson creeps me out with those giant fake white teeth.

That has to be the worst “monologue” ever

Pete did a terrible job again. And he still looks like shit.

Pete looks like a zombie.

Has anyone been to a live SNL taping? What's it like? The studio looks tiny.

That wasn't a very good opening monologue, the "love of my life" comment and PDA were especially awkward.

Colin Jost is a chunky fat fatty.

And that monologue SUCKED

Did he say Boozy? Bussy?

Doesn’t Bussy rhyme with Pussy?

The gaysian is horrible. He has one character. Dreadful

Oh look Bowen is playing gay again how unique

I'm betting Bowen wrote this sketch.

I'm betting Bowen wrote this sketch.

This elf thing is silly.

I love Gay Asian.

I love this kids xmas clothing commercial

The Macy's spot is very funny and true.

Wow these kids are brats.

Macy's hilarious.

LIZZO AND EDDIE MURPHY! Shit that's going to be GREAT!!!!

The Macy's ad was the best pre-filmed spot of the season so far.

I wonder if NBC is preparing to order extra food for Lizzo.

Maybe Scarlett can co-host with pal Woody Allen in the future.

Macy’s spot was excellent.

I love ScarJo, so shoot me. I also think Colin Jost is hot.

Jesus, Niall Horan has packed on the pounds since he was in the boyband. He's no Harry Styles, that's for sure. Double chin and stout looking.

ScarJo should play Kellyanne Conway

hahaha Kellyanne and George Conway skit!!

R48 Well, you asked for it!

I love ScarJo too. And Woody Allen. And Lizzo. We ain't all in diapers yet on this site. STFU R44.

This is just sad. I don't feel good watching any of this. He's too heinous to joke about like it's acceptable.

The Conway skit was weak — just not funny enough. Kate is overexposed, but the writing here was not good.

Scarlett seems like a bit of a narcissist, no?

ScarJo is s e x y. They fixed her makeup.

The Walmart commercial with the Perry Como song and the judgmental cat was better than the show so far

Niall sounds good and looks good, too. Nice to see someone without neck tattoos.

does this mean before the season is over we'll be seeing the rest of One Direction as solo acts too? Harry now Niall...

there are so many other people who could get these performer slots...

Niall isn't bad though I'll admit

Niall Horgan looks sexy and sounded great on a good song. He’s better than most of the musical acts on this show.

Damn! How close is the audience to that stage? I know space NYC rent is expensive but damn!

Good live performance from Niall, he looks really cute too.

Here comes dull Colin Jost

[quote] Damn! How close is the audience to that stage?

The same distance it has been since 1975.

So the Asian guy's schtick is acting super gay and unfunny?

Does he constantly do Mr. Chow impressions???

Total Ken Jeong rip off

[quote] So the Asian guy's schtick is acting super gay and unfunny?

Agree. He's terrible. Not funny at all.

I liked the line about the tariff being a bitchy tax

And Ken Jeong isn't that funny

I have to agree. Amongst all the mediocrity of the SNL cast, the GAY Asian guy stands out as TERRIBLE.

I do like Ego. We need a lot more of her.

The nelly Chinese guy knows nothing about comedy.

Bowen Yang is a 2-for-1 minstrel.

And unfunny.

Congrats, Bowen.

At least Ken Jeong is authentic. He made that character first.

Pauly Shore was more original!

Is she really going to marry this guy? He’s so average and unfunny.

I'm still having nightmares about The Weezer r73

Yoda is better looking than Kyle Mooney

is Kyle baby yoda?

What has Ego Nwodim done on the show besides playing the sassy black wife/mother/friend/etc.?

Has she created any characters?

She's just as bland as the previous black female cast member she replaced, whose name I've forgotten.

Oh I loved that Weezer skit. Where Leslie Jones loves Weezer. It was pretty funny.

Except she's not bland. And neither was Leslie Jones R78. Do all black women look alike to you? Don't answer.

Macy skit was funny. Pete Davidson looks like he has a tumor on the side of his face.

I loved Leslie Jones!

r79 are you talking about Weezer the band? r75 was referring to Pauly Shore

And ScarJo did not do a bit with future hubby on WU.

Jost's open was real Republican nasty to Democrats.

Fuck this SI conservative asshole.

Ego and a Chris are great together.

Niall's face looks fat and greasy. Too much Guinness, Hogran! Is he going to do a few skits like Harry did?

I love Chris Redd. He has natural charisma

if he got in shape he'd be hot

this is a more classic SNL skit in bizarre land

going in the whirlpool only to encounter 2 dead singing strippers lol

Chris Redd is.....unfortunate.....looking

I could live with out seeing that sketch again.

Niall looks hot with the chest hair.

Tom Steyer doesn't have a shot.

The best: Beck, Aidy, Mikey, Heidi, Kyle, Ego, Chris, Cecily

Uneven: Kate

Worst: Kenan, Che, Colin, Bowen

Kyle I would rank a lot lower, he is charisma free

Lots of hate and anger here for Gay Asian.

He’s a stereotype and nothing new, but he does make me laugh. Even if you don’t think he’s funny, your hate is over-the-top.

Prince Simon of Caucasia!

Ego Nwodim did not replace Leslie Jones.

She replaced Sasheer Zamata, who was totally forgettable.

R95 it's not hate for him. It's hate for not respecting Asian people or making them only acceptable if they're an over the top gay character. Which everyone is a little weary of because historically respect for non-white actors has been scant.

I saw mommy kissing santa klaus cuckold theme lmfao

Omg a cuckolding skit with Santa.

[quote]She's just as bland as the previous black female cast member she replaced, whose name I've forgotten.

You were saying R97? Is your hood on straight?

Santa....brilliant!

Cecily smiles so hard. She's going to stretch her face out like Jim Carrey and age prematurely.

At least Leslie Jones made me laugh, she could be terrible but sometimes she was funny

The Hallmark skit was on point. And it makes me once again glad that I cancelled my Netflix subscription.

Honestly I think Scarlett's kind of bland. Has anyone laugh at a ScarJo skit?

Niall sounds great. Nice ballad. He has charisma.

The male Norah Jones zzzzzzZzzz

Niall does sound great, but he looks 36.

Why is Cicely in so many sketches? I'm sure she's a lovely person but the other women are so underused.

Is Alex Moffat gay?

R110 There are some episodes where she is barely used. I think she's better than Kate McKinnon.

I must be dead inside. I don't like ballads.

Niall's second song was quite nice.

He's talented and will sell some records in the US.

Just call her scarlett. Is that so hard? It’s a hideous portmanteau that she loathes.

r98 I see, you're an idiot. The gaysian has gotten more people talking than any recent new cast member I can remember, so over the next couple years prepare to come up with some better insults than he's stereotypically gay all the time.

^^^ ScarJo is

Maybe if there was another Asian or another gay on the show or both Bowen Yang wouldn’t seem like such a dreadful, one-note performer.

Has he ever been funny? Doesn’t he have a podcast? Does this screechy Mr Chow stuff on his podcast? Do people like it?

Ok R116 with the bee in the butt. It's nice to see him playing a regular character like right now.

Bitch.

r116 a lot of people talked about Leslie Jones too but most of it wasn't good

If ScarJo didn't have big breasts she wouldn't have gotten far

Heidi Gardner is hilarious and not used enough. I've been following Chloe for years on IG and she does some really funny impressions. She is barely on SNL.

Leslie Jones was one of the worst cast members ever.

The Macy’s sketch was cute. The rest of the show sucks.

Maybe Eddie and Lizzo will be entertaining.

Alex Moffat is married, he and his wife seem legit so don't think he is gay

Leslie Jones is actually funny. She had a lot of very funny skits.

Scarecrow not so much.

I was pleasantly surprised by Niall. Nice voice and surprisingly not covered in disfiguring ink.

Love Mikey. How can anyone not love Mikey?

Leslie Jones wasn't great at doing characters, but she's a funny bitch with charisma to burn. No one was more loved on the SNL set that Leslie. She could have stayed another 10 years if she wanted to.

I liked the choking poster superfans skit

Hopefully Eddie will have better material since he waited so long to come back and there are high expectations

Fuck Lorne and his trying to be equal with Dems and Repugs

Where can I find the episode of SNL that Helen Lawson hosted?

Horrible episode

why are they using a poor innocent cute dog to make repubs seem sane and Democrats as crazy?

These fucking anti-Trump sketches actually help Trump! Aren't they supposed to be democratic? And Alec Baldwin makes Trump seem like a nice but dumb guy.

They don't understand psychology. *SMH*

Eddie Murphy will make sure he has better material or you won't see him in many sketches. I would never host SNL without throwing my weight around.

horrible waste of a dog WTF

That's also why I didn't like Colbert's cartoons of Trump, they make him seem like a lovable doofus

This show sucked.

I hate Scarlett's nasal voice.

So Colin and Scarlett are Repubs?

I dont have tv or cable so I did not see the episode, but I googled the official video for Niall Horan's new song, and he is adorable and the song is pretty good.

Scarlett should never have cut her hair, she looks so plain now

Dog skit was bad. I can’t enjoy anti-Dem skits no matter how much truth there is.

Eddie Murphy will bring a real show.

Why are you all still watching? This show isn't well made and, as many of you pointed out, it actually helps Trump and hurts Democratic candidates.

I swear Democrats lack any type of backbone. You will watch a show that actively derails American politics and insults Democrats with a smile on your faces and then wonder why we lose.

What's messed up is Scarlett's going to clap herself on the back and go to these Democratic rallies thinking she's helping the Dems.

Little does she realize her SNL dog skit and having the dog put her "libtard" protesting in place helps Trump. There are low info voters who will side that dumbass dog.

An awful lot of you are putting WAY too much import in to the final sketches of the night that 1) very few people see, and 2) nothing they do is going to sway an election. Settle down.

The video for the balled Niall sang, really lovely song, very talented guy.

Have you all forgotten that SNL had Trump host the show when he was running for president? Or that Kate Mackinnon mocked Hillary relentlessly for a whole year and then came out and 'sang' Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah dresses as Hillary when Trump won? I hate that SNL trivializes bigotry and fascism. They sure as fuck aren't very good at satirizing it. TAKE A STAND.

*dressed

True R150. So true. Sadly.

Sad, True. In bad taste. Disgraceful. Sad. An insult to Hillary, Mr. Cohen and everyone watching and grieving.

Another episode where Leslie Jones didn't fuck up any of her lines.

She's getting better.

That ballad is terrible.

R149 That was lovely indeed. Harry Styles did well the other week too.

I hate the smiling both-sides attempts in WU and the opening as if democracy is not going own the tubes hourly.

R153 I forgot how embarrassing that was....yikes

Arguably the best show of the season, with runner-up props to Harry Styles' 45/6. They cinched it for me tonight at "...the not one, not two, but three Black quarterbacks who have beat Tom Brady this season." The Conway skit was sheer brilliance in both concept and execution, Max the aged Pug not so.

Much Johansson love here in Hell's Kitchen where her Granny Sloan was my next door neighbor and who, from way back in the day, was so proud of her little granddaughter's budding career. My fave remains Scarlett's twin brother, Hunter, who would stop and play "hall ball" with my miniature dachshund puppy some 15 years ago.

Thanks for the memories, Scarlett, and for a stellar SNL episode.

The rapping elves was not as good as the wrapping elves of yore...

Macy's may have been a pre record but it was PERFECT.

they picked this turkey for a xmas re run??? worst of year....

(why is Che on this show?)

The ScarJo episode was a new episode.

They haven't broken for Christmas break yet.

Next week is the much anticipated Murphy return.

Jost was quite the rich, conservative Staten Island asshole Pete claims him to be.

Odd, sounds more like Che....

She has the face of an old duck

and the personality of an eel.....

Her and jost are perfect match

he is a star fucker and she

wants to be a star.....someday.

good luck wench.

I think Bowen Yang is funny. I honestly kind of like the blending of the Asian and gay stereotypes because they’re generally so disparate. A tariff being a “bitchy tax” is also funny to me since Trump loves tariffs and in reality, he really doe behave like an overly sensitive bitchy queen crybaby. I feel like Yang is making up for lost time, given that there has never been an openly gay actor on SNL. Not one I can remember, anyway.

I recall that when he and the young woman were introduced this season, lots of people here called the woman as being the new breakout star. It’s funny that people know Bowen Yang’s name and not hers now.

I do concede that he’s a gay minstrel show and an Asian minstrel show, but as with Leslie Jones, what’s funny is funny.

I also still think Kenan is reliably funny and sort of underused, but at this point he seems kind of like a reliable Phil Hartman all-purpose cast member, and I enjoy him wherever he lands. He seems likable and he makes me chuckle.

I agree that the Colin Jost thing is odd. He is kind of cute in a prep school way, but he’s also not *that* cute and the fawning over him on the show is ridiculous. It was funny when Leslie Jones did it because of their odd mismatch, but he is hardly gorgeous.

Beck is definitely the heartthrob of the show now. And he’s usually funny. Weird that he flubbed lines this week.

Scarlett...she’s pretty reliable as a performer. I do resent her for defending Woody Allen. Her defense is basically that Allen never raped her, and since one of Allen’s kids married him, he can’t possibly be a raper of children. Bah.

Cecily is still my favorite cast member and I don’t think she’s overused at all. I am sorry that SNL overplayed Kate McKinnon because she is still versatile and usually pretty funny. Her Jeff-Sessions-as-a-possum and Giuliani-as-a-bat thing is lame and her Kellyanne as demure and pretty irks me a lot. Why is it OK to show how gnarled and gross men are but not women?

Aidy is cute but it’s a little annoying they always put the fat girl in the elf costumes.

Her Ivanka “complicit” skit years ago was perfect. I am annoyed she didn’t skewer Ivanka again.

The Hallmark sketch

[quote] I feel like Yang is making up for lost time, given that there has never been an openly gay actor on SNL. Not one I can remember, anyway.

Terry Sweeney was openly gay.

Many happy wishes to Josthansson! Hope they stick with the love of their lives for eternity!

I think next week's Eddie Murphy show will be the highest-rated in a long time.

The Macy's video was the funniest thing on SNL since the Matt Damon Christmas video last year. Aidy: "She is!"

CoScar

Mariah should have been xmas musical guest with other legend Eddie.

The problem with Bowen Yang is that he just doesn't understand comedy. He rushes through his lines, makes faces, has no sense of timing. He comes across as an amateur. Very "community theatre".

Beck, Aidy, Heidi, Mikey, Cecly know what they're doing.

Is Julio Torres still a writer on SNL?

ScarJost

Is Jost from money? Why is she marrying him?

Niall has unfortunate teeth. He needs to get the top row totally re-done.

Niall Hogran bellows that ballad like a bull in an empty field. So funny to see all the little fangurls on the thread to praise him. He's no Harry Styles, who has just sold 400k of his new album in its first week alone. The third biggest debut of 2019.

You can bet there will be A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood parody next week since Eddie Murphy did a Mr. Rogers skit back in the day.

R179, Everybody knows that Harry cheated and did a ticket bundle with his album. He wouldn't have done half that without it.

ScarJo's receding hairline is very obvious in this wig. She's only 35!

R181, EVERYBODY who can does a ticket bundle. But Harry also sells a lot more concert tickets than other people. Far, far more than poor Niall Hogran. Niall is also bundling but his US arena tour with Lewis Fataldi is only about 25% sold out, so his second album, Me and Me Guinness, won't be hitting the 400k mark.

Aagreed R46, but I'm with R142, I think she looked so chic with short hair, as it really flattered her bone structure.

Aagreed R46, but I'm with R142, I think she looked so chic with short hair, as it really flattered her bone structure.

Aagreed R46, but I'm with R142, I think she looked so chic with short hair, as it really flattered her bone structure.

1,000 apologies for the triplets.

[quote][R181], EVERYBODY who can does a ticket bundle. But Harry also sells a lot more concert tickets than other people.

That's not true. Neither Post Malone or Ariana Grande did ticket bundles with their albums. If they had, they both would have sold 600k-700k the first week in the US. Harry's streaming numbers are mediocre, so his album will crater in the coming weeks. His singles are not doing well.

I do like him though. And I'm glad that his tour looks like it will be successful for him.

Niall Horan was good on SNL.

I will NEVER understand Scarlett 's appeal! Her acting sucks. Worse is when people claim what a great beauty she is! Pics before plastic surgery are shocking!! Surgeons got her barely to average looking IMO. Ugggh

I remember watching one if the earliest SNL Christmas episodes & crying. My parents would let me go to college not would they teach me to drive. Because my mother was a religious fanatic she sent me to religious high school an hour away from my town. I lost all contact with kids I’d grown up with, including my cousins. I was at my sister’s apartment, which was attached to my aunt & uncle’s house. The addition to the house was built without a permit by my aunt’s brother in law. He hadn’t put any insulation in the walls. It was so cold the draft came through tthe walls. My sister and her husband Wouk day go out to bars on Saturday nights & didnt come home until 7:30 am Sundays. My mother made me babysit for their son for $0. Even my mother wouldn’t pay me, telling me it was my duty because I was living rent feee in my parents home (I couldn’t get a job since I couldn’t drive).

My friends from HS had all gone off to college, like I had expected I would be doing. It was a shock when I was told there was no money for me to go to college, no plan was ever made for it. I was expected to go to work straight out of HS. I didn’t know anyone in my town anymore.

I was alone and this was not how I ever thought my life would go. I watched SNL wrapped in a blanket on the couch, shivering. The cast sang a Christmas song and then cast members went out and skated around the tree in Rockefeller Center. The city was only 60 miles away, but it was another world where people could be free. I burst into tears. So many people my age were having the time of their lives, going out into the world and making friends, having relationships, having experiences that people have when they grow up and here I was in this freezing illegal apartment alone with nobody to talk to and no future plan at all. No way to escape.

I would have to sit there for hours, watching old movies on tv, waiting til my sister and her husband came home and passed out.

Bowen was hilarious on the choking poster skit - which was not at all a gay minstrel act.

But of course, we have to skewer our own kind always, I understand.

[quote]Is Jost from money? Why is she marrying him?

Jost comes from an upper middle class background. His mother is/was a physician. Jost has worked at SNL since he was 22 or 23. But, I doubt he has ever made big bucks from it. It's been said that SNL doesn't pay their writers, crew, or cast members all that well. Years ago, Tina Fey said in an interview that performers who were on MadTV around the same time she was on SNL made more than her. I recall Seth Meyers saying living in New York also eats up a lot of the money SNL people make.

I just don't understand why the writing is so consistently bad. Does Lorne dislike all the funny skits? I refuse to believe that they can't find funny people to write for them. I know the culture is toxic, but they should still be able to get one good script out of everybody who quits in disgust. Does Lorne even watch the show? There just seems to be a real disconnect somewhere between conception and performance.

Also, I think it's a shame that SNL has turned into 'just another publicity machine'. They should do shows without hosts. The focus should be on the actual comedy strength of the ensemble and there's been no real sense of the cast being an ensemble, as opposed to an assortment of varyingly talented people sharing space, for a really long time. People like Scarlett should not be hosting fucking comedy shows. Funny people should be hosting, if they insist upon having hosts. I hate that they rarely have recurring characters anymore. I can't understand why all the sketches go on for too long. And I'm really curious about who the dead weight is behind the scenes that's dragging the whole thing down. I'm putting the blame on Lorne, but Jost and Che seem like they could be totally condescending cumrags who refuse to listen to any ideas that don't grab them in the first 3 seconds, ideas they don't understand or those that come from people they have bro biases against. And Keenan needs to fucking retire.

Wait, I just realised Scarlett Johansson named her daughter after two of the Golden Girls ("Rose Dorothy") and I have to kind of like her more now.

Niall looked very cute in his pink suit. Big ass.Speaking of big, Scarlett's tits! The show was funny enough. Bahhumbug you old cranky scrooges!

Why is Melissa Villasenor still on here? She only seems to exist to play the second female in a sketch when needed.

Who's missing Leslie Jones? She used to blow her lines so much, it was as though she was acting on "Dark Shadows."

r197, I think she doesn't have any more promising opportunities. She fucked herself with the racist tweets. She's not pretty. And her real voice sounds like a muppet. She'll probably disappear after her contract is over.

What the fuck is going on with Heidi Gardner's teeth?

I like Melissa Villasenor, but it’s the Kate McKinnon show.

McKinnon is overused. Her male politicians are awful and indistinguishable.

McKinnon is too talented for the show. She's outgrown it and should move on.

Keenan has never been talented enough for the show. He should go the fuck home.

R190 because she has a curvy, hourglass body with a tiny waist that straight guys love. With help, makeup, lighting, airbrushing, she can look beautiful, like a puffy faced Michelle Pfiffer Barbie. Of course, without all that and with a brunette wig she just looks average or odd.

I read a Russian article reviewing her and they said they couldn't see what all the bombshell fuss was about. That she looks like a girl you might see on the subway. They said they see prettier blonde girls all the time over there but American audiences aren't used to seeing women like that so have no clue.

R199 I agree that twitter scandal really screwed her over. I think Villasenor will end up having a long career of voice work for cartoons.

And Muppet movies.

Why are gay men commenting on the sexual appeal of ScarJo's body? Gross. Get a life.

I have high hopes for next weeks Eddie Murphy episode. I hope he can drop ( or at least lower) his ego and do his old classic characters, in the vein of *OLD* SNL humor with no political correctness with lots of raunchy and racial funny-as-shit comedy.

Now that would my Christmas present!!

Cecily is a gem. She should sing in every show.

'Harry's streaming numbers are mediocre, so his album will crater in the coming weeks'

Nope. All 12 of the Fine Line tracks are still in the Global Spotify Top 50. Niall's streaming is absolutely dire, though.

Niall's first song on SNL was catchy.

HAIRLINE IS NOT THE only thing scarjo has receeding

like uh talent and taste in

boyfriend fukt buddys

Lorne seems to continue to be VERY engaged with the show and its content. Such as, just about every time they show one of those live segments in between sketches and commercials when they're re-setting up the stage for the next skit, he is on there with the techs and castmembers talking or directing what's going on. Too much so. The guy's become a control freak who has seemed to squeeze almost all the fun, irreverence and originality out of the show, IMO.

Wanna fuk Jost in the ass till he bleeds. Just saying.

Niall is fat and old looking

So who is going to start the 12-21-19 Murphy thread early?

So excited for this week's show!