Well, Sarah would probably bring her gun and shoot Hillary from the helicopter

-- Anonymous

I've always felt kind of sorry for McCain, the maverick who sold his cajones to the far right to win. But this Palin creature is so, so easy to hate. Lying, cynical, hypocritical, tabloid trash. I want her comeuppance to be spectacular. I want her to go down in a squirming, twisting biblical blaze of Aquanet. You diss community organizers while you sniff around D.C. for every piece of pork belly you can scratch up? I won't rest until every American hates you as much as I do. It is ON, bitch.

-- Anonymous

McCain's biggest applause comes from his mention of Sarah Palin

Palin is like a baton-twirling school girl at a nursing home. No matter how incapable she is, she's bound to liven up the joint.

-- Anonymous

If you're a Democrat, you should be deeply ashamed of your moral failure and the blame should be placed squarely on you, the parent. You're the problem with society.

If you're a Republican, congratulations on the beautiful miracle your wonderful family has been blessed with.

-- Anonymous

And I'll bet she lied on every college application she made.

Untreated mental illness is the Foundation of the Modern Republican Party. That's the real reason Reagan closed the mental hospitals. It was cheaper than a leadership development program.

-- Anonymous

It's held up with a combination of baby seal blubber, toddler spit, and liquid evil.

-- Anonymous

So this bitch cut programs for both handicapped children and pregnant teens.

Karma's a bitch

-- Anonymous

For five and a half years, John McCain couldn't even see his then-wife dressed in a $100,000 outfit, let alone a $300,000 outfit. The suggestion that the wife of John McCain, a former prisoner of war, would be out of touch with the public because she is heiress to a $100,000,000 beer fortune, owns 11 homes, and wears $300,000 earrings is outrageous and belittles our men and women in uniform.

-- Anonymous

The comments section is obviously an orchestrated campaign of republicans with marching orders to post outraged pro-Sarah comments.

-- Anonymous

This family deserves a Lifetime mini-series.

-- Anonymous

"if she could take care of 5 children, she could run the country!"

So if I can balance my check book can I be Secretary of the Treasury?

-- Anonymous

Pretty sad when you're a family values candidate who can be lectured, credibly, by Lindsay Lohan.

-- Anonymous

"Take a shower. (Has anyone ever felt worse about anything after showering?)"

Karen Silkwood?

-- Anonymous

---Do you really think there will be a withdrawl by Palin (or gently nudged by others)?---

Obviously the Palins aren't good at withdrawal techniques.

-- Anonymous

Governor and future president Palin named one of her sons Track because she spends a lot of time running and the other son Trig because she spends a lot of time shooting.

Daughter Bristol has announced that out of respect for family tradition, she will name her baby "Bareback."

-- Traditional Family Values

"God Bless America" was written by Adam and Eve! The Mayflower was built out of wood salvaged from Noah's Ark! We should lift all bans on whaling until we kill the fucker who swallowed Jonah!

-- Rough draft of Palin's acceptance speech.

Exactly how is sex addiction treated?

Is it a twelve schtup process?

-- Anonymous

"Who was driving when the first wife was killed?"

WELL DON'T LOOK AT ME!

-- Pickles

What kind of no-class gay says "orange"?

The color of her pants suit was, appropriately, "Bittersweet".

-- Anonymous

Let's demand Hallmark support true American family values!

Congratulations On Your Third Marriage, Having Dumped the Wife You Dumped Your First Wife For Right After She Got Cancer

Congratulations On Dumping Your Crippled Wife for a Rich Bitch

Congratulations On Dumping the Wife Who Helped You Recover From Your War Injuries (And Paying No Child Support)

Congratulations On...Hell, Rudy, I Can't Even Keep Track

-- Anonymous

earrings

caftans

-- Anonymous

God, do people really think that New Yorkers are running around with crack pipes hanging out of their mouths and automatic weapons blazing?

Of course not. Most people know the difference between New York and Miami.

-- Anonymous

"Ricky Martin Welcomes Twin Boys"

The visual I had reading this line had nothing to do with parenthood and everything to do with double penetration.

-- Anonymous

Above 110th Street? He's history.

If the Cathedral of St. John the Divine, Columbia University, Barnard College, The Riverside Church, Union Seminary, and the Jewish Theological Seminary don't get him, Grant's Tomb will.

-- Anonymous

He's neither. He has one of the female swimmers lay eggs on the bottom of the pool, and then he swims over them and fertilizes them.

Takes about five minutes.

-- Anonymous

I had the Bedknobs and Broomsticks one in first grade. Looking back I think it's extraordinarily fabulous that they made Angela Lansbury lunchboxes for six year old gay-boys.

-- Anonymous

the dinghy banging loosely against the Splendor

-- Liza Minelli

Elect a Democrat.

-- Anonymous

"he swears it works"

Then obviously it doesn't.

-- Anonymous

I hate missionaries too, but I LOVE to fuck in their position!

-- Anonymous

It's like someone plucked the head of bored Palos Verdes housewife and put it on a college gymnast's body!

-- Anonymous

The technology has greatly improved since the 2004 games when the sensors were made by Diebold. Remember everyone's shock when at the end of the Men's 200m Freestyle the times came up and George W. Bush had the Gold?

-- Anonymous

>> What is the technology?

There are tiny windows in the end of the pool and midgets sit in little compartments watching the race. When a swimmer touches the window, the midget yells the name of the swimmer and the head midget records it on a sheet of papyrus with a quill pen made from the feather of a hawk that lives on Mount Olympus.

-- Anonymous

It's like she's talking about ME!

-- Anonymous

Why would I be scared? I'm not Mayan.

Can you imagine how WE feel?

-- Miss Angelou and Miss Rudolph

She is lucky to be born at all.

-- Minister of "One Child" Policy.

"What quality does 'batshit' add?"

A tangy yet subtle flavor reminiscent of tamarind, OP.

-- Anonymous

"Chuck Lorre, who wrote for Brett Butler, Cybill Shepherd, and Roseanne."

Wow--he really hit the Bitchfecta, didn't he?

-- Anonymous

And yet when she comes out her face will be strangely taut.

-- Anonymous

Horton has a ho?

-- Anonymous

London or Madrid

-- Anonymous

Who needs it? I've been completely invisible in gay bars for YEARS.

-- Anonymous

Obama/Minnelli '08!

-- yesh we can!

"on CNN now."

I don't know about anyone else, but if I had to choose between Larry King Live and Isaac Hayes Dead on CNN, I'd have a hell of a time making a choice.

-- Anonymous

Yes, Liza.

-- Anonymous

"The chauvinism, jingoism and arrogance of the Chinese top even the Americans. The World is f*cked."

Well, they have been around for 10000 years and invented paper, printing and were pioneers in agriculture. We're 250 years old and perfected marketing. Calm down.

-- Anonymous

It looks like a Scandinavian detox facility.

The Betty Fjord Clinic.

-- Anonymous

OMG...I'm in Atlanta. Are we safe?

-- Anonymous

Scent of a Woman

-- Cheryl

"Malgorzata is being treated for shock."

Her second time in shock treatment; the first was when she found out her parents named her Malgorzata.

-- Anonymous