What's a good Mother's Day gift for a mom you're not very emotionally connected to?

Just ignore the entire thing OP. She'll get the message.

Have you asked Christina Crawford for suggestions?

Flowers or a house plant.

A new steam iron.

Sending a card and keeping away. I'm sure the rest of the family will consider that a gift too.

$10 gift card to Applebee's.

I send impersonal flowers.

To clarify, I don't hate my mother. She's just very negative and critical of everything to a point of being emotionally draining. So, I have to take her in small doses for my own mental health. As a result, I haven't really spoken to her for more than a few minutes since the new year began. And there is very obvious distance there, now. She has never been Mary Sunshine but since my dad died I swear she hasn't had one positive thing to say about a single thing and she now sucks the life out of any room she happens to be in.

I don't want to overdo it to make it seem like I'm "trying to make up" for the distance, but I also don't want to just completely blow her off. Sending something like an Edible Arrangement seems too gaudy and "try-hard."

I hear hostess pants are the 'in' gift this year.

A half eaten bag of Hershey’s Kisses.

Emoji flowers.

Well, my cunt cousin and her husband once showed up at my aunt's house for Christmas with a VCR copy of "Top Gun" and a small bottle of Bailey's Irish Cream (both unwrapped).

Nothing else says "I love you so much that I stopped at the gas station on the way." I'm surprised she didn't include a tree-shaped car deodorizer hanger.

Buy her an axe OP.

I fill her greeting card with about $25 worth of lottery scratch-offs.

What have you given her in the past (for Mother's Day)?

r15 An Edible Arrangement. Last time she got that was in 2016 and we were a lot closer than we are, now. We've drifted apart since then. For the 3rd time since I've been alive.

Taylor Swift.

OP, this is the third time you and your mom have drifted apart?

I would just text or send a card.

OP, I'm Jewish, so I don't get my mother gifts because I'm particularly emotionally connected, but because it feels better/costs less than the guilt I'd have if I didn't, so I've become an expert at old lady gifts/gestures that cost little in terms of money or effort but pay off in terms of keeping the peace.

Ideas (all under $30 and via Amazon—can shipped directly overnight to her house):

A cheaper bottle of perfume you know she likes

A small lilac bush

A nice robe or pajama/lounge set in a nice floral pattern

OR a gift certificate for a massage, house cleaning, or restaurant that she likes

Look at your disgusting posting history R19.

Hostess pants.

R20 Um...examples?

An ice cube tray.

My mother died 10 years ago. I still have her ashes in my garage. What should I do with them?

Flowers. Says I'm aware of the day but didn't want to overthink it. And as cranky as she may be she'll appreciate it, even if she never thanks you or mentions it again.

Corn pads.

Was it a Eunice and Ed sketch where they gave Thelma a fancy fly swatter?

Golf balls

Get her your favorite cast recording of Gypsy and write a note about how this made me think of you.

Get her a Healing Truth card. It will do you a world of good!

R25 That is exactly why I DON'T send flowers on Mother's Day. You end up spending upwards of $80 because they're so marked up.

OP What is your mother like other than a bitch? Does she have any hobbies or interests?

r25 and r31 I got my mother flowers for Mother's Day and she gave me a lecture about how the flowers are technically dead and won't last long. But she complimented the vase.

I wish I was making this shit up.

r32 Aye, don't call my mom a bitch, bro.

Send her something from Goldbelly

Perhaps you can ask her what she’d like. Then she’ll only have herself to blame.

An Aldi's gift card.

A houseplant. They’re alive so she can’t bitch and moan about that.

That Goldbelly thing is about $60, but seems like an OK gift.

How much do you intend to spend, OP?

How about an alibi?

r19 Thanks. She's in her 50s, so not that old (Gen Xer). She likes gardening, though. The plant suggestions are sounding doable.

r39 Under $100.

Omaha Steaks

Maybe use the day to give her a call and try a heart to heart talk?

R41/OP I got this for my dad (who also loves gardening and is seemingly impossible to please) last year for Father's Day and he hasn't stopped raving about it since. Said it "changed his life".

I would say a green small houseplant with no blooming flower. .

If she is a vegetable gardener or someone who needs practical items like tools, pots, soil, fertilizer or raised beds or planting carts, get her a gift certificate for Gardeners Supply Company.

If she is more of a fancy flower and landscape gardener who likes live plants, bushes etc, get a gift card from White Flower Farm. They also have pots, gardening carts, etc.

If she watches BBC Gardeners’ World, get her a book by Monty Don.