I’m reading Terry McMillan’s “Waiting to Exhale” from 1992

One of the character’s exes comes out as gay and lo and behold, that really happened to McMillan.

[quote]but damn. They can barely imagine life without a man. It’s all they think about, all they talk about…

Well, pretty much that is all that is discussed here on the DL, OP. I'm not following your concern.

No, R2. The women in “Exhale” seem to think having a man and a baby will make them whole.

DLers just want a man to fill their hole.

[quote]One of the character’s exes comes out as gay and lo and behold, that really happened to McMillan.

Apparantly the dude who the story is based on came out after getting citizenship or whatever and she would chase him around and stalk him, show up at his work etc like a crazy cunt.

[quote]DLers just want a man to fill their hole.

And they feel that having their hole filled will make them happy and whole. I fail to see the distinction that you are attempting to make here...

[quote]Apparantly the dude who the story is based on came out after getting citizenship or whatever and she would chase him around and stalk him, show up at his work etc like a crazy cunt.

Well, I don't know anyone who likes and can admit to being a fool and being used and "played". Most people would be very angry too. How do you face family and friends ever again without thinking that they're whispering behind your back?

R6 A mature individual would accept that they were played with and move on. There's no shame in being tricked by someone else but there sure is shame in becoming a stalker, and that's what people have been whispering behind her back since the book came out.

[quote]but there sure is shame in becoming a stalker, and that's what people have been whispering behind her back

Really? Are you SURE about that???

[quote]They can barely imagine life without a man. It’s all they think about, all they talk about…

That was the norm in so-called 'chick-lit.' Even the characters who pretended to be above such things rarely were.

Here's a 20-minute Oprah podcast segment chronicling the saga of McMillan and her gay ex. From the description: "Oprah looks back on best-selling author Terry McMillan's riveting appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show and explores how McMillan's intense rage almost destroyed her. Oprah, for the first time, reveals how uncomfortable she was during McMillan's 2005 appearance with her ex-husband Jonathan Plummer. McMillan learned after they married that her husband was gay. Oprah also recalls McMillan and Plummer's Oprah Show reunion five years later."

Plummer sure was no Taye Diggs.

Link, R9?

Sorry, R11, I mistakenly thought it attached.

Waiting to Exhale and How Stella Got Her Groove Back are different things.

Now they can barely imagine life without a cellphone.

Whoops, mixed them up. Oh well.

[quote] Well, pretty much that is all that is discussed here on the DL, OP.

You're pulling that out of your ass.

DL is about a lot more than that, R2.

It’s gossip. It’s bitchery. It’s troll-haven.

I finished the book and tried to watch the movie but it’s so artless. The opening credits look like a videotaped TV movie presentation. The acting (from the men) is terrible.

Oh hunny. Terry had NO gaydar at all.

I’d be smelling cookies all the way down the aisle!

The sequel is pretty good as well. Bernadine becomes addicted to Benzos as her daughter deals with coming out. The ending brings it back full circle.

I never read the book, but I loved the movie. It was really entertaining.

The movie wasn’t great. Whitney was surprisingly subdued (and gorgeous). Bassett, in my opinion, was too over the top.

The movie plays like a long music video for the soundtrack.

[quote]How do you face family and friends ever again without thinking that they're whispering behind your back?

then..

[quote]Oh hunny. Terry had NO gaydar at all. I’d be smelling cookies all the way down the aisle!

I told cha' R7

I didn't care for the book's sequel, R20. It left a bad taste in my mouth with how depressing it was.

Savannah (Whitney Houston): marries some guy who turns out to be a huge porn addict and files for divorce.

Gloria (Loretta Devine): her sweet husband (Gregory Hines) died on their anniversary, she lost her hair salon and became obese. Her son's wife is for the streets and ends up in prison.

Robin (Lela Rochon): ended up with lame Michael (Wendell Pierce in the movie) who is still rich but now is in shape. He sweeps her off her feet and she's the only one who gets a positive ending.

Bernadine (Angela Bassett): she basically became a mother to her ex-husband's daughter that he had with his white mistress-turned-wife after that woman ran off to be with someone else. Married the Wesley Snipe character from the movie who turned out to be an already-married conman. Became a pill addict.

[quote]Robin (Lela Rochon): ended up with lame Michael (Wendell Pierce in the movie) who is still rich but now is in shape. He sweeps her off her feet and she's the only one who gets a positive ending.

HA! Well, that was CLEARLY only an acting job! Girlfriend hasn't missed any meals....

I suppose some women legitimately don’t know the guy the plan to marry is gay. Some women.

But McMillan was 47 when she married this guy, she was a wildly successful author, a woman of the world. It wasn’t the 50s; they got married in 1998.

I can’t know for sure - obviously - but her claiming innocence does not pass the smell test.

[quote]I can’t know for sure - obviously - but her claiming innocence does not pass the smell test.

Sure, it can, (IMHO). When your mind is just consumed by "dick", "dick", "dick" and "young dick" at that, you don't think rationally. You don't think that she didn't brag to her family and friends about the young, black, dick she was able to corral? Then look how that BLEW up in her face! KABOOM!!!

I betcha many family and friends saw it. Some might have even tried to drop some hints to her. It's hard to fool Auntie Clovis! She's been around the block a few times and has seen a lot! But, Terry was in the mysticism of dick. It was probably bad sex too but she didn't care. She had young, black, dick!

He wasn’t even cute.

[quote]Sure, it can, (IMHO). When your mind is just consumed by "dick", "dick", "dick" and "young dick" at that, you don't think rationally.

How many of these well-off to rich old gay geezers (and NOT that attractive and/or in even decent shape either) are perfect marks for these younger guys who are looking just for a "come up"? Dickmatized and a victim of dickamitization...

[quote]He wasn’t even cute.

I agree with you but beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Again, that didn't matter either. All she saw was young, black, dick.

I can understand how she ignored the red flags and ended up with him. She was pushing 50 and had never been married. Getting picked is intoxicating especially if it typically doesn't happen to you. She was desperate. I'm sure she was the very last person to know that she was married to a gay man.

[quote]I'm sure she was the very last person to know that she was married to a gay man.

Of course she was. I'm telling you that Clovis knew within seconds and probably dropped a; "Baby, are you sure? Maybe you want to give this a few more months?" But Terry wasn't listening to that. She was consumed by the dick and her wedding plans...

I liked the movie. It's interesting that Forrest Whitaker directed it and that Whitney Houston starred in it. Angela Bassett got a lot of kudos for her performance but Loretta Devine was working on a much higher level in a much more subtle role.

[quote] I'm telling you that Clovis knew within seconds

Now, if Clovis knew you know she told Claretha, Eartha, Verlean, and definitely Richarda.

They ALL knew and knew that they would have to be there for her when it went KABOOM! After all, that is what family is for...

[quote]Angela Bassett got a lot of kudos for her performance

Overrated. She just passed the crossover test.

[quote]Loretta Devine was working on a much higher level in a much more subtle role.

Wonderful actor that has yet (and probably never) get her duly proper accolades and respect

[quote] Whitney Houston

Simply Just a name to pull in movie ticket sales. Also, she need "something" in movies that would expand/enhance her brand...

[quote] The movie wasn’t great. Whitney was surprisingly subdued (and gorgeous). Bassett, in my opinion, was too over the top.

I agree. I thought Angela Basset basically chewed the scenery throughout the movie. It's as if just wont let herself get out-acted by her 3 co-stars. The others came off much better with their understated acting, even Whitney, imho. I like the soundtrack as well.

[quote] I like the soundtrack as well.

BabyFace did an EXCELLENT job!!!

Linked is probably my most favorite track and that might be because I was going through something similar at the time...

[quote]I betcha many family and friends saw it. Some might have even tried to drop some hints to her.

TL;DR warning!

You know, an old (former) friend of mine did the exact same thing. She snatched some young, pretty blue-eyed blonde boy from an AA meeting (in PA) and made it her mission to snag him (which she eventually did). But he then moved back to FL to a house his parents had bought for him after he got out of a FL drug rehab, while she was stuck in PA trying to get full custody of her two kids from her very decent (now ex-) husband.

She couldn't get custody, so she figured if she could get Blondie to marry her, he'd eventually move back to PA. But even at the wedding, mutual friends kept coming up to me saying, "David is gay, and Jen's the only one who doesn't know it!" In his other life, he was a hustler in Boca Raton. I visited him a handful of times when I lived in St. Pete, and found out that he rented out all the bedrooms in the house his parents had bought him, and hustled older gay men for money on top of that. I don't know if she ever found out.

He eventually did go back to PA. His parents (who paid the FL mortgage) insisted. But somehow, he escaped and (I'm sure) went back to FL. Jen was furious with me because she was sure I knew where he was and wouldn't tell her, and I never spoke to her again. I never did find out what happened to him, and I don't care.

I actually liked Whitney in this movie (and Preachers wife), Subdued but it works for the character, who is tired of her situation.

I agree where Angela is a hot mess overacting her ass off. The whole reveal to Bernadine by her husband in the book is a slow burn,, but Bassett goes off from the start, which ruins the impact.

I always forget it was Kelly Preston who played the blonde mistress.